Groovy Baby! Meta Adds Trump Ally to Board! Is Zuckerberg Going All Austin Powers on Us?!

Oh Behave! Meta's Board Gets a Makeover!

Alright alright alright! Austin Powers here reporting live from my shagadelic headquarters! Word on the street (or should I say on the world wide web baby!) is that Meta run by the enigmatic Mark Zuckerberg is getting a bit of a makeover. They've added two new members to their board of directors and let me tell you it's spicier than a vindaloo!

Dina mite! A Trump Connection!

First up we have the lovely Dina Powell McCormick. Now this groovy chick isn't just any ordinary bird. She's got a past with President Donald Trump having served as his deputy national security advisor. Yeah baby! And get this she's hitched to Senator Dave McCormick. Talk about a power couple! This is like when I found out Dr. Evil was my brother! Shocking I tell you shocking!

From Politics to Partnerships: A Real Swinger!

But wait there's more! Dina isn't just hobnobbing with politicians. She's also a big cheese at BDT & MSD Partners a fancy schmancy company formed when a bank merged with Michael Dell's investment firm. Before that she was doing her thing at Goldman Sachs. This woman's got more moves than I do on a dance floor and that's saying something!

Is Meta Going Republican Baby?!

Some are saying this appointment is a sign that Meta is cozying up to the Republicans. After Trump's return Meta seems to want to get in his good graces. Remember how Trump called Meta "the enemy of the people"? Ouch! That's gotta sting more than a laser beam to the nethers! It seems like Meta is trying to change his mind baby yeah! This is like Dr. Evil trying to be nice! Can it be done?

Stripe's Patrick Collison Joins the Party!

But hold on it's not all politics and power suits. Meta also added Patrick Collison the brainiac behind Stripe a payments startup worth more than my entire collection of velvet suits! This bloke brings some serious business acumen to the table baby! It's all about the Benjamins baby yeah!

Zuckerberg's Big Gamble: A Groovy Alliance?

So what's Zuck up to? He says these new directors bring valuable experience. Maybe he's trying to avoid an antitrust trial! He's playing it cool like a cucumber in a gin martini! Whatever his reasons it's clear that Meta is shaking things up. Will this alliance be groovy or disastrous? Only time will tell baby! Shaguar!