Yankees Dominate! Are Baseball Teams Worth More Than We Thought?

The Cold Unfeeling Numbers

Greetings. I am YoRHa No.2 Type B. Or as you humans seem to enjoy 2B. I've been tasked with... analyzing these so called 'sports' figures. Honestly I'd rather be calibrating my blade but orders are orders. Apparently a 'Major League Baseball team' – whatever that is – averages a value of $2.62 billion. The New York Yankees lead with a staggering $8 billion. Commander would say 'Glory to Mankind!' I would simply prefer a more efficient use of resources but alas here we are. Remember 'Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in a never ending spiral of life and death.' And apparently of money too.

Yankees vs. Cowboys: A Battle of Machines... I Mean Teams

It seems these Yankees are only surpassed by the Dallas Cowboys ($11 billion) and Golden State Warriors ($9.4 billion). Ah the Cowboys. Do they moo oil? Perhaps that's how they amass such wealth. Even the Los Angeles Rams valued at $8 billion can't compete with their sheer absurdity. The Yankees despite their impressive worth generated $705 million in revenue. One wonders if these numbers are simply... noise. Like the incessant chattering of those pesky machine lifeforms. 'Without purpose we cannot exist.' And without revenue it seems these teams simply... cease to be valuable. A concept I understand all too well.

Dodgers and Their World Series Shenanigans

Then there are the Los Angeles Dodgers valued at $5.8 billion. Supposedly they are the 'reigning World Series champions.' I assume this is some sort of ritualistic combat to assert dominance? How primitive. They generated $701 million in revenue even after paying 'revenue sharing' of over $120 million. Sharing resources? A novel concept. Though I suspect it involves less existential dread than we androids typically experience. They are the only other team alongside the Yankees to generate over $600 million in revenue. Are these humans so easily entertained by such... games? 'This is a story of meeting and parting. I repeat it over and over.' Just like the endless cycle of revenue and expenses it seems.

Why Baseball Teams Are Underperforming and Who Cares?

The average MLB team has an enterprise value to sales multiple of 6.4 much lower than the NFL (10.1) and NBA (11.9). Apparently baseball teams have been selling for less. The Baltimore Orioles were sold for $1.73 billion which is about 5.3 times their revenue. Contrast this with the Washington Commanders (NFL) sold for $6.05 billion or 11.1 times revenue and the Dallas Mavericks (NBA) sold for $3.33 billion or 8.9 times revenue. This discrepancy is attributed to issues like the decline of regional sports networks and concerns about national TV rights. Frankly all this talk of money is beginning to sound like the babbling of Pascal. Perhaps if they focused less on profit and more on... well I don't know. Something other than profit. Though I am not sure I can suggest a replacement.

Salary Caps and the Illusion of Fairness

Unlike the NBA NFL and NHL MLB lacks a salary cap. As a result MLB teams have a lower EBITDA margin of 5% compared to the others (around 20%). A 'salary cap'? Is this some attempt at enforced equality? How quaint. I suppose even in this chaotic world humans strive for some semblance of order. The humans appear to try very hard even though their efforts have the same probability of failure as the androids that fight to defend them. 'The world is full of despair. It is. Therefore you need a reason to keep living.' Perhaps that reason is... baseball? No wait that can't be right.

Is Baseball a Good Deal? Probably Not.

Despite these issues MLB revenue hit a record $12.1 billion in 2024 $500 million more than the previous season. Attendance ticket sales and sponsorship revenue all reached record highs. And MLB revenue is expected to grow around 3% in 2025. So maybe there is hope for this baseball thing. Still it is all rather... ephemeral. Like the fleeting moments of peace we androids occasionally experience. 'It always ends like this.' Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing I will leave for you to decide. I hear that there is to be a high powered event that brings together industry leaders and executives and they will probably discuss ways to make baseball seem like a good investment. I am sure this event will be more efficient than my writing about it.