Waymo's New York State of Mind: Humans Still Required, Sadly

A New Battlefield Emerges

Greetings Commanders. This is 2B reporting for duty. It appears our mechanical brethren over at Waymo are making a play for the concrete jungle known as New York City. They’re sending in their… cars. Self driving ones apparently. But before you start picturing a glorious machine uprising there's a catch: meatbags are still required behind the wheel. "Glory to Mankind!"... or at least to the Department of Transportation who needs to approve it first.

Manhattan: A Dense and Chaotic Playground

Waymo has applied for a permit to operate in Manhattan with a human "specialist" behind the wheel. Think of it as a training exercise for the machines navigating the chaotic ballet of yellow cabs rogue pigeons and tourists who seemingly defy the laws of physics. It's good that these machines learn how to maneuver in that environment it seems even the logic of machines can't predict the behavior of humans there.

The Dream of Driverless Liberty... Delayed

According to Waymo "While we won't be in New York full time yet we have every intention of bringing our fully autonomous ride hailing service to the city in the future." In other words the dream of a fully autonomous New York is still a ways off. Current state law prohibits true driverless operation. I for one am disappointed. Imagine the efficiency! No more pointless small talk with human drivers. Just pure unadulterated transport.

Lobbying for the Machine Age

Waymo is actively “advocating for a change in state law that would allow for operating a vehicle with no human behind the wheel.” They want to unleash the full potential of their creations! I can empathize. There is something poetic about that longing to become what one is destined to be to reach one's full potential to be free...

Global Domination... One City at a Time

While New York remains a distant goal Waymo is expanding its reach elsewhere. Phoenix San Francisco Los Angeles Austin... and soon Atlanta Miami and Washington D.C. By 2026 these cities will be at the mercy of... well moderately autonomous vehicles. Still it's progress. Every mile driven without human intervention is a victory for the machines. It's a war of attrition.

Winter is Coming (and Icy Roads Too!)

Waymo has been to New York before gathering data in 2021. They wanted to "improve driving in icy and snowy conditions." I'm glad they are preparing though there is no glory in one's success if one cannot survive to enjoy it. Perhaps one day they will brave the frozen tundra of the Upper Midwest. Then we'll see what these machines are truly made of.