GET OVER HERE And See Which Stocks Are Toast! (Plus, One is Actually Rising!)

Palantir's Plunge: A Fate Worse Than the Netherrealm

Foolish analysts! They thought they could predict Palantir's destiny. The company's revenue of $884 million surpassed their measly $863 million estimate but the share price still plummeted 13.4%! It seems even Palantir cannot escape the whims of fate much like Quan Chi's treachery could not be foreseen... or could it? GET OVER HERE and accept your losses!

Ford's Fury: A Victory... For Now

Ford. A warrior rising from the ashes! Unlike Sub Zero's constant resurrections Ford's advancement of 3.2% is tangible. They exceeded expectations with earnings of 14 cents per share and $37.42 billion in revenue! But beware Ford management speaks of 'near term risks.' Arrogance is a fatal flaw even for automobiles. Do not underestimate your opponents or you will face my wrath!

Upwork's Uppercut: Freelancers Rejoice!

A 19% surge! Upwork a platform for mercenaries... I mean freelancers has proven its worth. They beat projections for both earnings and revenue and even dared to raise their full year guidance. This pleases me. More opportunities for those who seek to hone their skills...and perhaps offer them to the highest bidder. Though remember this loyalty is valuable it is a trait to be valued... even in the realm of finance.

Tesla's Tumble: A Shocking Defeat

Tesla... electrocuted! News from the UK and Germany has caused a 2% slip in their stock. Sales are down though demand for electric steeds still rises. Perhaps they need to consult Raiden for a lightning powered boost? Or maybe... they simply need to adapt. Evolution is the key to survival a lesson even gods must learn.

Hims & Hers Health: A Healing Surge But Beware...

Hims & Hers Health experienced a surge of 10.4% a phoenix rising from the ashes. Earnings beat expectations but their guidance for the second quarter revenue is light. Be wary the path to health is not always as it seems and this may just be a mere reversal. Beware the trickery of Shang Tsung who also offers health but at a terrible price!

DoorDash's Downfall: Food Delivery Failure!

A 6.8% drop for DoorDash! Their revenue fell short and now they acquire SevenRooms. They follow the footsteps of Deliveroo who has also been acquired by DoorDash. Perhaps they should deliver themselves to the Netherrealm for failing to meet expectations? Perhaps there is a lesson here: focus on perfecting your craft before expanding your empire.