No Fate But What We Spend: JPMorgan's Sapphire Reserve Card Gets a Judgment Day Upgrade (at a Price)

Judgment Day for Your Wallet

Listen up people. JPMorgan Chase just pulled a Skynet move upgrading their Sapphire Reserve card with a shiny new $795 annual fee. That's a 45% jump! Makes you wonder if they're planning to build their own cyborg army. They claim we'll get over $2,700 in benefits. Right. Like Skynet promised a peaceful future. But hey maybe this time the future isn't set in stone.

Perks: More Than Meets the Eye?

So what do we get for almost 800 bucks a year? The usual travel and dining perks plus some new shiny toys. Double points for travel a $500 hotel credit $300 for fancy restaurants (part of the 'Sapphire Reserve Exclusive Tables' network – sounds ominous) and even a $300 StubHub credit. Plus free Apple TV+ and Apple Music. It's like they're trying to distract us with entertainment while they quietly take over the world… or just our bank accounts.

Loyalty Rewards: Earning Top Tier Status

If you're spending $75,000 a year on your card congratulations you're officially part of the 1%. You get top tier status at Southwest Airlines and IHG Hotels. Meanwhile the rest of us are just trying to survive. They even have a Sapphire Reserve business card because apparently small businesses aren't stressed enough already.

American Express: The Old War Horse

JPMorgan is gunning for American Express trying to steal their thunder in the luxury card market. It's like the T 1000 going after the T 800. Only instead of liquid metal we're talking about reward points and airport lounges. This is what we are fighting for.

Will Customers Say 'Hasta la Vista'?

Here's the thing. As Bankrate analyst Ted Rossman said this card used to offer champagne travel on a beer budget. Now it's pure luxury. And some of us might just downgrade to something cheaper like the Sapphire Preferred or a card from Amex or Capital One. Overcrowded airport lounges rising fees – it's like Skynet's infiltrating every aspect of our lives. There is too many of them!

The Future is Unwritten... But Expensive

The question is will we actually use all these perks? If not we're just paying for a fancy piece of plastic and a false sense of security. Amex is also planning updates to their Platinum cards so the arms race continues. KBW analyst Sanjay Sakhrani thinks it's a clever subscription model. I think it's a trap. But hey maybe I'm just paranoid. After all there's no fate but what we make… or what we spend.