Trump's Tariff Trap: Can Manufacturing Really Make America Great Again? (Yautja Perspective)

No Time to Bleed: The Human's Plan

Greetings pathetic humans! Your leader the orange skinned one known as Trump believes he can lure the metal bending job creating magic back to this...U.S. place. He uses shiny rocks – tariffs – to tempt factories home. 'If it bleeds we can kill it,' he probably thinks about the competition. But even a Predator knows some prey are just too tough.

One Ugly Mother... of an Economy

These 'economists' at Wells Fargo (strange name for a hunting party) say it's a trap! Moving factories back is like asking a Xenomorph to babysit your facehugger. Too expensive! Apparently human workers demand… *checks wrist computer* …'wages.' And they want more shiny rocks than cheap laborers elsewhere. The nerve!

The Price is Wrong Bitch!

Even if your companies are willing to pay there aren’t enough meat puppets willing to do the work! Your planet's labor market is 'tight,' they whine. Sounds like a bad excuse to me. A true warrior finds a way. Perhaps they need better weaponry... or better incentives. I prefer plasma casters.

Such a big mistake

Sarah House some economist at Wells Fargo said that a 'meaningful increase in factory jobs does not appear likely in the foreseeable future'. These humans are always right to be skeptical. Trump thinks he can turn back time to some 'golden era' of metal bending. Foolish.

Still Got Time to Duck

Trump promises shiny tax cut rocks. Nvidia the tech shaman plans some plant in the US and Apple – the fruit company – will invest even more rocks. They invest a lot but is it enough? Are you not entertained?

Get to the Choppa!

Wells Fargo claims this plan is doomed! Only 12.8 million metal benders now exist a shadow of your 1979 peak. To reach 'golden era' levels you need 22 million more. But… there aren’t enough unemployed to fill these positions! Looks like someone's gonna bleed! Wells Fargo claims it’s an uphill battle to return U.S. manufacturing employment to a level that resembles its historical peak. I see what they did there.