Teddy! The Shocking Secret to Stock Market Success Revealed! You Won't Believe It!

The Curious Case of the Deceased Investor!

Right so apparently the best way to make money in the stock market is to… well do nothing! Yes you heard me! I Mr. Bean could have been a millionaire ages ago if I'd just left my money alone like when I tried that do it yourself haircut! Experts are saying that 'dead' investors – not literally dead mind you though Teddy might have some competition – do better than us lively lot. Seems a bit daft doesn't it? Like using a turkey to decorate your head.

Human Behaviour is Rubbish Apparently!

This Brad Klontz bloke a financial brain says that the biggest problem for us investors is ourselves! 'We are our own worst enemy,' he cries! It's like when I try to cook something fancy – usually ends up with a face full of custard. Apparently we sell when we panic and buy when we're excited which is a bit like driving a car with a mop – utterly useless! So 'dead' investors who just 'buy and hold' are laughing all the way to the bank probably with a teddy bear tucked under their arm.

Ups and Downs! Like a Rollercoaster!

Now stocks go up and down like my trousers when I forget my belt. But historically they always go back up apparently. So if you're a 'dead' investor you just sit tight and wait for the good times to roll again. Whereas if you're like me you're probably trying to time the market and ending up missing the bus. Or in my case getting stuck in a post box. The S & P 500 did a lot better than the average investor in 2023. Honestly I bet even Teddy could've done better!

Shiny Things and Herd Instincts!

Apparently we humans are wired to follow the crowd like lemmings jumping off cliffs or me trying to sneak into a movie without a ticket. This Barry Ritholtz chap says that our brains are all about immediate reactions which is terrible for investing. It's like trying to paint a room with a toothbrush – completely the wrong tool! So all those trendy stocks and cryptos? Probably best to leave them alone unless you fancy ending up like me when I tried to fix the plumbing!

The Price of Impatience? More Than Just a Few Pennies!

Let's say you stuck $10,000 into the S & P 500 from 2005 to 2024. A 'dead' investor would have nearly $72,000! But if you missed just 10 of the best days you'd only have $33,000. Crikey! Missing the best days is like forgetting the gravy with your Christmas dinner – utterly disastrous! Better to just pop the money in the bank but even then it is not safe especially if the bank staff look like me!

Don't Be Too Dead Now!

Now don't get me wrong they are not actually saying 'do nothing'. Financial experts reckon you should check your plans and make sure it makes sense like making sure your car has petrol before going on a long journey! There are also these 'all in one' funds that do all the boring stuff for you. 'Less is more,' they say which is probably why my car is so small but I love it. Also set up regular investing like contributing to a pension! It's like eating beans on toast – simple reliable and probably better for you than you think.