Ross Stores is Toast! Intuit's Outlook is Bloody Brilliant!

Ross Stores: Are You Having a Laugh?

Right let's get one thing straight. Ross Stores you call yourselves retailers? Your shares have plummeted more than 11% after withdrawing your full year guidance. What is this amateur hour? You’re predicting second quarter earnings of $1.40 to $1.55 per share when analysts expect $1.65? Honestly if I ran my restaurant this badly I’d shut it down. 'Pressure on profitability if tariffs remain elevated'? Excuses excuses! Get your act together; you're ruining the dish!

AutoDesk: A Glimmer of Hope!

Finally something that doesn't taste like garbage! AutoDesk at least you're showing some initiative. Shares up more than 2% after a higher than expected second quarter outlook? That's more like it! Adjusted earnings of $2.44 to $2.48 per share on revenue of $1.72 billion to $1.73 billion? Keep this up and you might actually earn a Michelin star… or at least avoid my wrath. But don't get complacent there's always room for improvement you donkey!

Intuit: Bloody Brilliant!

Now we're talking! Intuit you've absolutely smashed it! Shares up nearly 8% after forecasting a rosy outlook for the full year? Adjusted earnings in the range of $20.07 to $20.12 per share up from your earlier guidance? Fantastic! You’ve not only met expectations you've blown them out of the water. This is how you run a bloody business! Keep this up and I might just consider using your software... maybe.

Workday: Just Matching Expectations? Pathetic!

Workday what in the name of sanity are you doing? Shares down over 6% after forecasting subscription revenue that only *matches* the StreetAccount consensus? Matching expectations is not good enough! I expect perfection; I expect fireworks! You surpassed analyst estimates in the first quarter but now you’re just resting on your laurels. Get back in the kitchen and cook up something truly spectacular or get out!

StepStone Group: Not Bad But...

StepStone Group shares surged 13%? Assets under management up to $189.4 billion? Not bad I suppose. But don't think you're getting off scot free. 'Up from $156.6 billion in the year ago period' It sounds like your numbers are frozen! I expect more! Don’t let success make you soft. There is always room for more improvement

Deckers Outdoor: Macroeconomic Uncertainty? Give Me a Break!

Deckers Outdoor makers of Ugg boots. Shares are sliding 14%. No full year guidance for fiscal 2026 citing 'macroeconomic uncertainty related to evolving global trade policies'? You're blaming the uncertainty for pulling out? That's just pathetic! I would've preferred you gave some guidance even if it was just 'We don't have a clue'!