Are American Express Cardholders Too Rich to Care About Trump's Tariffs?!

Wake Up You Financial Donkeys!

Right let's get one thing straight. I'm not here to sugarcoat things. You think I'm happy writing about numbers instead of searing scallops? Get a grip! But this American Express news… it's got me steaming. Apparently some people are just too damn rich to even notice the world going to pot with Trump's tariffs. Are you having a laugh?! It seems the young 'uns are off on a spending spree while the old timers are tightening their belts. Where's the bloody balance?!

6% Increase?! That's Not Good Enough You Donkey!

Six percent increase in spending? That's like serving a Wellington that's raw in the middle. Utterly unacceptable! But hold on adjust it for the leap year and it's 7%? Still not bloody perfect. According to AmEx's CFO this spending frenzy is continuing even with the stock market looking like a toddler's exploded spaghetti Bolognese. What in the world is going on?! Is everyone just burying their heads in the sand hoping the recession monster won't bite their perfectly manicured arses?

Millennials and Gen Z: The Spending Idiots!

Ah the millennials and Gen Z. Spending like there's no tomorrow. Up 14%! Fourteen bloody percent! I bet they're splashing out on avocado toast and those ridiculous unicorn lattes. Meanwhile Gen X and the Baby Boomers are being sensible… relatively. Just 5% and 1% increases respectively. Good on them at least SOMEONE has the brains to not live like a bunch of over privileged buffoons!

Restaurant Spend: A Glimmer of Hope or False Dawn?!

Now this is where I perk up a bit. Restaurant spending is up 8%. Eight percent! The CFO says it's a sign of confidence. But is it really? Or are people just trying to eat their feelings before the whole damn economy implodes? Still I can't help but appreciate the fact that people are still willing to shell out for a decent meal. Maybe there's hope for humanity after all. Although I bet half of them are ordering well done steak with ketchup! Savages!

Airlines in Turmoil: Is That Chicken Raw?!

The airlines are struggling. Only a measly 3% increase. Is the airline industry in trouble? It's like sending out raw chicken unacceptable they need to get their act together! Everyone's tightening their belts except for the restaurant goers and the younger generations it seems.

AmEx's Risky Gamble: Are They Out of Their Minds?!

Despite the financial chaos AmEx is sticking to their guns. They're still predicting 8% to 10% revenue growth. But they've added a little disclaimer: "Subject to the Macroeconomic Environment." Bloody hell! That's like saying my Beef Wellington is delicious "subject to whether the cow was actually edible." They're either incredibly confident or completely delusional. Only time will tell if they'll end up with egg on their face. And mark my words if they do I'll be there with a bloody spatula ready to flip them!