Infinite Money Glitch at JPMorgan Chase Leads to Epic Lawsuits! Did They Really Think They Could Outsmart the System?

Houston We Have a Glitch!

Alright alright alright. So JPMorgan Chase is going after folks who thought they'd found the 'infinite money glitch.' Seems like someone forgot that in the real world unlike video games there's always a level boss – and in this case it's called the legal system. Turns out you can't just withdraw infinite money and expect to get away with it. Who knew? Classic case of 'reality is often disappointing,' am I right?

To the State Courts We Go!

Apparently they're hitting up the state courts now for smaller amounts below 75K. Smart move I guess. Gotta get 'em all! It's like playing Whac A Mole but with fraudsters. JPMorgan is digging in and going after these financial daredevils who attempted to take what isn't theirs! They are saying “You want to go to war fine. We’ll go to war.”

The Masked Man and the Bouncing Check

So there's this story about a masked man depositing a check for $73,000. Sounds like the opening scene of a heist movie doesn't it? But instead of pulling off some elaborate plan they just... withdrew the money before the check bounced? Genius! Or maybe just really really dumb. Six days later the bank realizes the check is fraudulent and attempts to reclaim the funds but the damage has already been done. It's like trying to catch a Tesla in Ludicrous Mode – good luck with that.

Bankruptcy? More Like Bank Ruptcy!

And now they're even challenging bankruptcy filings! Talk about playing hardball. JPMorgan is saying 'Oh you thought you could just declare bankruptcy and wipe the slate clean? Not so fast!' Which I gotta admit is pretty savage. It's like trying to use a 'get out of jail free' card in real life. Spoiler alert: it doesn't work.

The Moral of the Story

Look I'm all for pushing boundaries and disrupting the status quo. But when it comes to messing with banks maybe think twice. Turns out these institutions have lawyers and a whole lot of time on their hands. As Doge would say 'Much disappoint very fail.' And remember folks 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions… and fraudulent checks.'

Justice is Served!

The JPMorgan spokesperson Drew Pusateri said it best: 'Getting rid of debts you accumulated through fraud isn't one of them.' Preach! Seems like JPMorgan is taking a stand against those who thought they could game the system. I guess that's one way to deter future crimes. As I always say 'If you're not failing you're not innovating.' But maybe fail at something that doesn't involve defrauding a bank eh?