Wall Street's Gone Bug Huntin': AI, Defense Stocks, and a Resilient Economy!

Another Day Another Record. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Alright people listen up. Ripley here reporting from… well let's just say I've seen more stable environments. Turns out the stock market is on a tear. The S&P 500 and Nasdaq Composite have hit record highs. Up 4% from last week they say. Makes you wonder what they're not telling us right? I mean last time things were this good I woke up with a Xenomorph drooling on my face.

AI: The 'Perfect Organism' of the Stock Market?

Turns out this 'artificial intelligence' thing is driving a lot of it. Nvidia's stock is through the roof apparently over $158 a share! They're selling these AI chips like hotcakes especially to Saudi Arabia. Makes you think... what are they using them for? Building killer robots? Because I've dealt with those before. Broadcom's making a killing too. 'AI behemoths' they call 'em. Sounds like a job for a flamethrower if you ask me. Still can't argue with money even if I'd rather blast those chips into space.

Hyperscalers? Sounds Like a New Breed of Xenomorph!

Then there's the 'hyperscalers' – companies supporting AI's infrastructure. Microsoft with its Azure cloud thing is raking it in. And GE Vernova building data centers to handle all that AI computation. Power hungry facilities they call 'em. Just like those alien nests always needin' more power. Shares are up over 61% this year! Well let's hope they're using that power for something useful not just hatching more digital monsters.

Defense Stocks: Because Peace is Bad for Business?

Geopolitical conflicts are apparently good for some folks. Companies are buying up virtual defenses and investors are flocking to cybersecurity stocks like CrowdStrike. Record highs all around. Makes you wonder if these conflicts are just staged to pump up the stock prices. Probably just some Weyland Yutani scheme gone wrong. Or right depending on your perspective. But then again whose side are you on?

The Economy: 'Still Solid'. Famous Last Words.

Jerome Powell says the economy is 'still solid.' Oh really? I've heard that before right before the power goes out and the alarms start blaring. A 'resilient' economy is apparently good for Wall Street leading to more IPOs and investment banking deals. Goldman Sachs is making a killing. Capital One is doing great because people are still spending money they don't have. It's all a house of cards I tell ya. Just waiting for a good sneeze to knock it all down.

Cramer's Corner: Should You Buy? Maybe Just Get a Flamethrower Instead.

Jim Cramer thinks you should buy Capital One stock. Trades at a discount he says. I'd rather invest in a good flamethrower personally. At least you know what you're getting with a flamethrower. With these stocks? Could be a chestburster waiting to happen. But hey what do I know? I'm just the crazy lady who blew up a spaceship. AGAIN.