Microsoft Caves: EU Makes 'Em Untangle Teams From Office. By Order.

A Deal With The Devil... Or Brussels

Right so Microsoft those Yanks they've been playing a game. Bundling their Teams app with Office 365 like a Shelbys' offer you can't refuse. Only the EU they weren't buying it. Seems they thought it was a bit too… forceful. Word is they were lookin' at a hefty fine. Enough to make even Bill Gates sweat and that’s saying something. 'Everyone's a whore Grace. We just sell different parts of ourselves.' Microsoft is no different.

Unbundle or Be Bound

The Brussels boys and girls they weren’t too happy. They started sniffin' around after Slack that other app nobody really uses since Microsoft muscled in started squealing like a stuck pig. So Microsoft they’ve had to offer a deal. They'll sell Office 365 without Teams cheaper like. And they'll let folks move their data out of Teams for those few poor sods who got trapped in there. 'Whisky's good proofing water. Tells you who's real and who isn't.' Looks like Microsoft's been watered down a bit.

Interoperability? Sounds Like a Foreign Tongue

Now they're talking about 'interoperability'. Sounds like something Arthur would try to pronounce after a few too many whiskeys. Apparently it means letting Teams play nice with other apps. Like letting the Lee family into the Garrison… if they paid their dues. Microsoft is saying it's all about giving customers 'more choices'. Which is rich coming from them. It's all business and business is war.

Slack's Still Whining

That Slack lot now owned by Salesforce they’re still moaning. Their legal man Niles is saying this proves Microsoft’s been up to no good. Wants a 'binding enforceable and effective remedy'. Blimey. Sounds like he's after more than just a pint down the pub. But then 'sometimes death is a kindness.' Especially for competitors clinging to the past.

Averted Disaster or Temporary Truce?

Microsoft claims these changes are a 'clear and complete resolution'. They’re hoping this puts a lid on the whole thing. But the EU they'll be watching. Like Polly always listening always observing. This could just be a temporary truce. A pause before the next battle. 'We don't get to decide who we love'. But we do get to decide who we do business with. And Brussels is making sure Microsoft plays fair.

By Order of the European Union

So there you have it. Microsoft bending the knee at least for now. They're trying to avoid a proper kicking from the EU. But remember in this game no one's truly innocent. 'Lies travel faster than truth.' And there's plenty of both to go around in this deal. We'll see what happens next. But one thing's for sure: The Peaky Blinders always adapt and so must Microsoft.