Holy Smokes! German Chancellor Bid Does a Jackie Chan Stunt - And FAILS!

First Round KO!

Okay folks Jackie Chan here! So I hear this Friedrich Merz guy in Germany wanted to be Chancellor. Big job right? Like trying to catch a fly with chopsticks! But guess what? He didn't get enough votes! 310 out of 630... Ouch! Like when I tried to jump that gap in 'Armour of God' – almost made it but not quite! I always say 'Don't do what I do,' but maybe in politics a little 'First Strike' energy could help? Ha!

Stock Market Tumbles Just Like Me Off a Building!

The German Dax stock market went down! Down down down! Like me falling off a building in 'Who Am I?'! You know sometimes life throws you a curveball and you just gotta roll with it. But seriously folks let's hope things bounce back up soon. Nobody likes a grumpy stock market! It's like a bad guy who doesn't want to fight fair!

Retry Button Activated!

But don't worry he gets another shot in 14 days! Like when I miss a punch I don't give up! I try again and again and again! This time he needs an absolute majority. That's like needing to disarm all the bombs in 'Operation Condor' – tricky but not impossible! Just gotta keep trying!

Coalition Chaos: A German Specialty!

They signed a coalition agreement all nice and official called "Responsibility for Germany." Sounds serious! But remember folks teamwork is important. 'Together we can do anything!' – even if it's just figuring out how to run a country together. In Germany everyone wants a piece of the pie which is not bad but makes a big coalition.

Merz vs. Merkel: The Ultimate Showdown!

This Merz guy he's been around the block. A long time ago he was fighting with Angela Merkel for the top spot! Ah rivalry! Like me and Benny 'The Jet' Urquidez in 'Wheels on Meals'! We fought hard but in the end we were still friends. Maybe Merz and Merkel can grab some dim sum and talk it over? 'Fighting is not good but if you have to fight win!'

From Law to Politics: A Risky Move!

Before politics he was a lawyer! Wow! Talk about a career change! It's like going from being a stuntman to a ballet dancer! Different but hey life is about trying new things. Who knows maybe all those legal skills will come in handy. You never know when you might need to know how to duck weave and avoid getting sued!