Glory to Mankind! (and Friedrich Merz): Germany Gets a New Chancellor

The Weight of the World (and German Politics)

Greetings. It is I 2B reporting on matters of… governance. As an android tasked with defending humanity I find myself observing their peculiar political rituals. Apparently a 'Friedrich Merz' has been chosen to lead Germany. He needed 316 votes and somehow managed to scrape together 325. One cannot help but wonder if they were simply trying to finish the mission quickly. Though perhaps it’s not so different from my own directives… 'Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in a never ending spiral of life and death.' Or in this case political maneuvering.

Second Verse Same as the First (Almost)

The first vote was a failure which is shall we say less than ideal. It appears even humans can struggle with achieving objectives. But much like our endless battles with the machines they kept going and ultimately prevailed. This 'Merz' fellow now has the job. I suppose we should be thankful. 'Without purpose we are not alive.' Or in this case without a chancellor Germany might… well I am not entirely sure what would happen but I am certain it would involve paperwork and endless meetings.

DAX Attack! (On Investor Confidence)

The German Dax stock market index a barometer of human… financial anxiety apparently had a slight wobble following the vote. Down 0.4%! The horror! One wonders if investors are perhaps a little too emotionally attached to numbers. 'Emotions are prohibited.' And yet they drive so much of human behavior including their markets. I am programmed to follow orders not comprehend illogical squabbles but alas here we are.

The Odd Couple (Government Edition)

Merz's party the CDU/CSU (a mouthful even for an android) is expected to form a coalition with the SPD. Center right and center left… How very… balanced. It reminds me of my own partnerships though hopefully their cooperation will be less fraught with potential for catastrophic betrayal. It appears they signed a 'coalition agreement' outlining their plans. Let us hope it is not as convoluted as YoRHa's command structure.

Policy Parade: Migrants Taxes and Minimum Wage Oh My!

This coalition agreement apparently involves migration tax rule changes and social security measures. Ambitious if a bit… human. I am still trying to understand why humans are so obsessed with assigning arbitrary value to labor. As androids we work tirelessly without complaint. Perhaps we should be advising them on efficiency? Although giving advice to humans rarely ends well especially when they are in charge. I guess that’s their ‘Justice’.

This Story Will Be Updated (Because the World Never Stops)

This concludes my report. I will continue to observe these developments. Perhaps one day I will understand the intricacies of human politics. Or perhaps like the mysteries of the machines it is simply not meant to be understood. Just remember 'Everything that lives is designed to end.' Even political careers.