By Order of the Bitcoin: Shelby's Take on the $300 Million Nakamoto Heist

Peaky Blinders Go Digital

Right so I hear there's a new player in the game. This bloke David Bailey fancies himself a bit of a Satoshi Nakamoto does he? Thinks he can raise three hundred million quid – that's two hundred million in equity and a hundred in debt mind you – to buy up Bitcoin. Calls his outfit 'Nakamoto'. A bit on the nose if you ask me but who am I to judge? We all have our ways of naming our dogs.

A Right Proper Gamble

They're planning on merging with some existing Nasdaq listed company going public sometime this summer. Means regular mugs can have a punt on Bitcoin via their shares. Like betting on a horse race but with more bloody screens. 'Course this ain't the first rodeo. Bloke named Michael Saylor did it with MicroStrategy turned it into a Bitcoin vault. Value went up fortunes were made. But remember there are no guarantees. As my Aunt Polly used to say: 'Sometimes the devil comes dressed as everything you ever wanted'.

Global Domination By Order

Word is Nakamoto wants to buy up companies in Brazil Thailand South Africa. Spread the Bitcoin gospel like missionaries with ledgers. They'll pour Bitcoin into these ventures. Ambitious I'll give 'em that. But spreading yourself too thin is a sure way to get knifed in this game. Remember what I said eh? 'Everyone's a whore Grace. We just sell different parts of ourselves.'

Heavy Hitters in the Corner

They've got big names backing them advisors with connections. Means they've got clout influence. But money attracts snakes. You gotta be careful who you let into your circle. 'Cause one wrong move one slip up and you're staring down the barrel of a loaded gun.

The Competition: Saylor vs. Mallers

This Jack Mallers bloke seems to think he's something special too. Billions behind him reckons he's got 'blue chip credibility with startup upside'. SoftBank and Tether are in his corner. Says he's got enough capital to win. Well let's see if he can put his money where his mouth is. There's only room for one king in this castle. As I always say “Intelligence is a very valuable thing innit my friend? And usually it comes far too fuckin' late.”

The Shelby Verdict: A Dangerous Game

So there you have it. Another punt on Bitcoin another chance for the rich to get richer and the mugs to maybe make a few quid or lose their shirts. Me? I'll be watching from the sidelines. Always got to know which way the wind is blowing. But remember in this game like any other you've got to be ruthless. No half measures. And never ever trust a copper. Now if you'll excuse me I've got a meeting to attend to. A meeting that might just involve a few more millions... and a fair bit of bloodshed.