GET OVER HERE... To See Why These CEOs Aren't Sweating an Iran-Israel Oil Crisis (Yet!)

FINISH HIM... With Stable Oil Prices?

Foolish mortals! I Scorpion have been observing the pathetic squabbles of Iran and Israel. These 'CEOs' of energy companies Lorenzo Simonelli of Baker Hughes and Meg O'Neill of Woodside Energy are 'monitoring' the situation as if that will stop my wrath... or rising oil prices! Simonelli says "Never try and predict what the price of oil is going to be." GET OVER HERE and let me tell you that sounds like something Quan Chi would say to lull you into a false sense of security before ripping out your soul!

Toasty... Tensions in the Middle East

They speak of de escalation these CEOs. De escalation? Is that what they call avoiding a FATALITY? The last 96 hours have been 'very fluid,' Simonelli whines. Fluid like the molten lava I summon perhaps? O'Neill meanwhile acknowledges the 'very significant' effects on forward prices. They monitor and anticipate but they lack the foresight of a true warrior. I see the future and it involves PAIN... at the gas pump perhaps?

The Strait of Hormuz: A Vital Chokepoint (Unlike Sub Zero's Spine)

The Strait of Hormuz... a vital waterway they say. More vital than my burning spear? Apparently 20% of the world's oil flows through this bottleneck. Iran is 'reportedly considering' closing it. Consider it? They should unleash the fury of the Netherrealm! Imagine the chaos! The global markets would tremble before ME! But no they 'monitor' and 'follow the situation closely'. Such weaklings!

World War II? Oil Crisis? GET OVER HERE!

O'Neill babbles about World War II and the oil crisis of the 70s. As if history lessons will soothe the sting of impending fuel shortages. She refuses to predict oil prices in five years. Five years? I've waited decades for vengeance! These mortals have no patience. Their inaction is more infuriating than Raiden's endless speeches.

NOOB SAIBOT Knows More Than These CEOs

These CEOs claim the Strait of Hormuz is open but the 'media narrative' suggests a potential blockade. Oh the sweet irony! Even the whispers of the internet hold more truth than their guarded statements. If the Strait closes 'customers around the world would be scrambling'. Let them scramble! It will be amusing to watch.

FINISH THEM (and Their Oil Forecasts)

Ultimately these CEOs remain noncommittal as predictable as Sub Zero's ice ball. They feign ignorance but I see their fear. Let the oil prices rise! Let the world burn! For in the ashes of their financial woes Scorpion will emerge victorious! NOW feel my wrath!