GET OVER HERE... TO SAFETY! Markets Go KABOOM After Israel-Iran Face-Off

FINISH HIM! (Financial Portfolio)

Greetings Earthrealmers! Scorpion here reporting LIVE from the fiery pits of… well my trading desk. It seems those meddling mortals have once again stirred up trouble. Israel and Iran are at each other’s throats and the markets? They’re running for the hills faster than Sub Zero after I land a good spear. "Get Over Here!" should be the motto of every investor right now… to safe haven assets that is.

Gold Digger: The Ultimate Safe Haven

Gold that shiny metal everyone loves is having a field day. It’s up like I’m launching myself across the Netherrealm hitting levels not seen in months. Everyone's scrambling for it like they’re trying to grab the last Fatality opportunity. But be warned even gold has its limits. Don't get too greedy or you might end up like Quan Chi – deceived and defeated.

Treasury Notes: Not Exactly Thrilling But Safe

Treasury notes are rising as well but let's be honest watching them is about as exciting as watching paint dry. They’re safe though which is the point. Think of them as your Raiden – always there to offer protection even if he's a bit… boring. Yields are down meaning everyone’s willing to accept less return for more security. Smart move mortals smart move.

Stocks: Facing a Brutal Blow

European and US stocks are taking a beating. Talk about a fatality! Investors are dumping them faster than I can say “Toasty!” Remember fortune favors the bold but sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Unless you enjoy seeing your portfolio go up in flames maybe sit this one out.

OIL! Get Over Here!

Oil is the real wild card here. Prices jumped higher than Johnny Cage's ego fueled by fears of supply disruptions. Iran retaliation could send prices soaring and that is a reality. Keep a close eye on this because a wrong move here could cost you more than just your pride.

Test Your Might (and Your Investments)

So what’s the takeaway? The world is a dangerous place both in and out of Mortal Kombat. Adapt be cautious and don't be afraid to run for cover when things get hairy. And remember even in the darkest of times there's always a chance to "GET OVER HERE!" to safety. Scorpion out!