OIL PRICES BOUNCE BACK: Is This Truce a Load of BOLLOCKS or a Real Deal?

What in the Bloody Hell is Going On?

Right listen up you bunch of donkeys! After all that bloody chaos in the Middle East with Iran and Israel throwing their toys out of the pram oil prices decided to have a bit of a wobble. We saw U.S. West Texas Intermediate futures jump 85 cents landing at $64.92 a barrel. Brent crude? Up 54 cents to $67.68. A slight improvement but is it enough? I've seen more stability in a toddlers' birthday party.

Kaboom! Prices Explode (Briefly)

For a bloody hot minute things went mental! Prices shot up like a badly risen soufflé after the Yanks decided to bomb three nuclear sites in Iran. Five month highs they screamed! But like a vegetarian at a steakhouse it didn't last long. Honestly it was pathetic!

Truce? More Like a Bloody Disaster Waiting to Happen!

Then came the supposed truce. Donald Trump bless his cotton socks managed to strong arm Jerusalem and Tehran into a ceasefire. According to some posh bird at RBC Capital Markets Helima Croft it was all part of some clever 'escalate to de escalate strategy.' Sounds like a load of bollocks to me! More like stumbling around in the dark and hoping you don't trip over a landmine.

The Worst is Over? Don't Be So Bloody Sure!

Croft reckons 'the worst appears over for now.' Does it love? Does it really? I wouldn't trust this situation as far as I could throw a bloody deep fryer. This truce is as fragile as a sugar sculpture in a hurricane. One wrong move and it'll all go tits up!

Market Stability? You're Having a Laugh!

So where does that leave us? A slight bounce in oil prices a ceasefire that's about as reliable as a chocolate teapot and a whole lot of uncertainty. The market is nervous jumpy and about as predictable as a Gordon Ramsay outburst. Bloody typical.

Donkey! Don't Get Complacent!

My advice? Don't get complacent you muppets! Keep your eyes peeled your wits about you and maybe invest in a good tin hat. This oil market is a bloody rollercoaster and we're only just starting the ride. Now get out of my sight before I call you an idiot sandwich!