Bloody Hell! Trump's Iran Decision Sends Oil Prices Down the Drain!

What in the Devil is Going On?

Right let's get one thing straight. I'm a chef not a bloody economist but even I can see this is a right mess! News flash: oil prices have taken a nosedive plummeting more than 2%. Why? Because that numpty Trump is dragging his feet on turning Iran into a kebab! Brent crude is down $2.12 to $76.73 a barrel. Seriously is this guy running a country or a bloody kindergarten?

Negotiations? Are You Having a Laugh?

Trump's flapping his gums about 'potential negotiations' with Iran. Negotiations? With that lot? It's like trying to reason with a donkey! He's got two weeks to decide whether to unleash hell according to his mouthpiece Karoline Leavitt. Two weeks! That's two weeks too long! Get a grip man! Are you going to be a leader or a lemon?

Israel's Cooking Up a Storm

While Trump dithers Israel's already turned up the heat! Netanyahu's ordering strikes on Iran faster than I can shout at a useless commis chef. Apparently some Iranian missile turned an Israeli hospital into a bloody salad. I mean seriously? Now they're hitting back with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the face. Good. About bloody time!

This Oil Price Drop is a F***ing Disaster!

All this uncertainty is sending the oil market into a right state. Prices are fluctuating like a badly made soufflé. This isn't just about petrol prices at the pump you donut! It affects everything! Shipping manufacturing even bloody food costs! This is serious people!

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee (Before it Goes Cold)

Trump needs to stop messing about and make a decision. Is he going to back Israel and deal with Iran or is he going to let them keep stirring the pot? Two weeks is an eternity in this game. He needs to get his act together before the whole bloody thing blows up in his face. He better decide quickly or he will be hearing from me!

My Final Verdict? Raw Undercooked and Needs Seasoning!

So there you have it. Trump's indecision is a recipe for disaster. The oil market is in turmoil Israel is getting ready for a fight and Iran is probably laughing all the way to the bank. Sort it out you bunch of muppets! This whole situation is raw undercooked and desperately needs some bloody seasoning! Now get out of my kitchen!