Giggity! Waymo's Driverless Cars Head South for Some San Jose Action!

Giggity Giggity! They're Spreading!

Alright alright alright! Quagmire here reporting live from… well my recliner but still! Word on the street – or should I say the *autobahn* – is that Waymo Alphabet's little robo taxi experiment is about to get a whole lot bigger. They got the green light to cruise on down to San Jose and other parts of the Bay Area. That's right folks more driverless cars are coming! Giggity!

CPUC Says 'Yes Please!' to More Robots

Now you know I like a little bit of action and apparently so does the California Public Utilities Commission (CPUC). These guys gave Waymo the thumbs up after Waymo submitted their 'Passenger Safety Plan'. Which frankly sounds like a boring read. Probably doesn't even have pictures. I bet there isn't even a centerfold! Anyways it allowed them to expand their driverless coverage from San Francisco down through the Peninsula. Giggity!

San Jose: The Silicon Valley Hottie!

The Mayor of San Jose Matt Mahan sounds like a real go getter! This guy practically rolled out the red carpet for Waymo saying they embody the region's 'spirit of innovation'. Look I'm all for innovation but I'm just hoping these robotaxis have a decent sound system for playing Barry White on those late night cruises. You know setting the mood. Giggity! He's calling it the 'Capital of Silicon Valley!' I guess Metropolis was already taken.

DMV's Got Their Eyes On You!

While Waymo's out there racking up miles (and hopefully phone numbers) the California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) is busy trying to figure out how to keep things from going completely off the rails. They're thinking about new rules for testing and unleashing these self driving machines on the public. I'm imagining the chaos. Cars driving into the sunset. Imagine the fun that could be had. Giggity!

250,000 Rides a Week?!

Now here's a number that really got my engine revving: apparently Waymo's already giving over 250,000 *paid* robotaxi rides a week in the U.S.! Paid! That's a lot of lonely people looking for… a ride. I mean a ride. And get this: they're even teaming up with Toyota to bring this tech to regular cars! So picture it: your own personal robot chauffeur. Take you anywhere you want. (Wink wink nudge nudge!) Giggity! Allriiight!

The Future of Dating (According to Quagmire)

Okay folks let's get real. What does all this mean for guys like me? Will these robotaxis replace the classic 'take her for a spin' move? Will I have to upgrade my pickup lines to include phrases like 'autonomous navigation' and 'LiDAR technology'? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: Quagmire is ready for whatever the future holds... especially if it involves a backseat a robot driver and a whole lot of giggity! Giggity Giggity Giggity! Alllll Right!