Eat My Shorts! Trump's Trade War Makes Gas Cheaper!?

Ay Caramba! The Adults Are Fighting Again

Alright dudes and dudettes Bart Simpson here bringing you the lowdown on the latest grown up squabble that's probably gonna affect how much allowance you get for snacks. Apparently OPEC – that's the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries not some new flavor of Krusty Burger – thinks Trump's playing hardball with his tariffs especially against China. And guess what? It's messin' with the whole world's piggy bank!

Don't Have a Cow Man Demand is Down

So OPEC's all like "Whoa the world ain't gonna guzzle as much oil as we thought!" They’re shaving off about 150,000 barrels per day from their predictions for this year and next. That's like a swimming pool of crude or maybe even two depending on how big you like your pools! They say the world economy is gonna grow slower too. Three percent instead of like 3.1%. Woo hoo! One tenth of a percent! That's huge... said no one ever.

Trade Wars: Not As Cool As Star Wars

These guys are saying Trump's tariffs on China are causing a big headache. I mean 145% tariffs! That's more than the cost of a Squishee! And he's slapping 10% tariffs on everyone else too like some kinda global bully. He should just chill out and let everyone have a Duff man! “I didn’t do it!” (This is when I would usually say that.)

OPEC+: More Like O P E … Oh Nevermind

Now get this: even though OPEC thinks the world isn't gonna need as much oil OPEC+ which is like OPEC with extra dudes decided to pump out more oil starting in May. Talk about a face palm right? It's like Principal Skinner giving detention for no reason again!

Crude Dude Prices Are Dropping!

All this drama is makin' oil prices drop faster than Milhouse trying to run from Sherri and Terri. Since Trump announced his tariff plan oil futures are down about 13%. That’s like enough money to buy a whole box of novelty squirt guns! But hey at least gas prices might go down a little. Maybe Dad will finally spring for that new skateboard I've been eyeing. I need a skateboard! The old one broke when I was doing a stunt. Milhouse! Quit eating my fortune cookies!

Cowabunga! Slight Price Increase!

On Monday though crude oil was actually trading a little higher. Maybe everyone realized they were being boneheads and decided to buy some oil before it all dries up. It's like when you realize you’re almost out of candy and you need to raid the store before it closes. So what does this all mean? Probably not much but hey at least you got a laugh right? Now if you'll excuse me I have to go practice my slingshot skills.