Trump's Tariff Tango: Did the Bond Market Really Have the 'Yips'?

Is He Cookin' Up More Than Just Policy?

Alright folks Saul Goodman here your favorite attorney at law (and occasional financial analyst when the mood strikes). Now word on the street – and by 'street,' I mean the Wall Street Journal – is that President Trump is playing coy about why he pumped the brakes on those oh so aggressive 'reciprocal' tariffs. Apparently he told Time magazine he wasn't sweating the market freak out after his 'Liberation Day' announcement. 'I wasn't worried,' he says. Riiiight. And I'm just a humble lawyer who never met a morally ambiguous situation he didn't like. Come on!

The Market's Gone South Like My Reputation After the Whole 'Heisenberg' Thing

So Trump drops this tariff bomb – a 10% hit on all U.S. imports – and the market throws a hissy fit. We're talking about inflation jitters recession whispers and the potential implosion of good ol' trade agreements. The bond market? It went bananas! Yields shot up faster than Jesse Pinkman when he sees a vacuum cleaner repairman. But Trump insists it had nothing to do with his 90 day stay on the tariffs. 'No it wasn't for that reason,' he claims. Sure pal. Tell me another one. I've heard less believable stories from clients who swear they were framed by a one armed man.

Numbers He Wants to Come Up With: Sounds Shady Even For Me

According to the Donald he's holding off 'until we come up with the numbers that I want to come up with.' Sounds like a line straight out of my playbook. I'm sure there is nothing shady going on here no sir ee. I mean as I always say 'If you're committed enough you can make any story work.' But seriously I'm starting to get bad flashbacks to those Walter White days. Back then I wish I had asked myself 'Are you sure you want to do this?'

The 'Yips': Is That Even a Real Economic Term?

And then comes the kicker: Trump says the bond market had the 'yips.' The 'yips'! Is that even a real economic term? Sounds more like something you'd diagnose a nervous chihuahua with. But hey who am I to judge? I once convinced a jury that a guy wearing nothing but his tighty whities was merely expressing his artistic freedom. It's all about the spin people!

A 50% Tariff? Now That's What I Call 'Aggressive Negotiations'

The article goes on to say that Trump would see a 50% tariff as a 'total victory.' Okay now we're talking Saul Goodman levels of aggressive negotiation. I mean even I'd think twice before suggesting that. Remember 'Better Call Saul' but maybe not for trade advice. Though I'm always open to a consultation...for the right price of course. As my other former client once said 'I am not in danger I AM the danger.'

CNBC Pro LIVE: Because Even Shady Lawyers Need Investment Advice

And last but not least the article plugs CNBC Pro LIVE at the New York Stock Exchange. Apparently even you can get in on this and get financial advice from the pros. If you think for a moment I am above this you got another thing coming. 'Money is the best motive,' after all.