China's Shipments PLUMMET? FAKE NEWS! We're Making America Great Again, One Tariff at a Time!

They Said What?! More Fake News From the Lamestream Media!

Let me tell you folks these so called experts are saying that shipments from China to the West Coast are going to plummet. Plummet! Can you believe it? They're saying my tariffs are causing companies to cut import orders. It's sad! Very sad! But the truth is they don't understand the art of the deal. I do! I'm a very stable genius!

Los Angeles Port? More Like Loser Angeles Port (Just Kidding... Sort Of)!

So this guy Gene Seroka from the Port of Los Angeles he's on CNBC saying the cargo volume is going down. Down! He says it's a 'precipitous drop.' Sounds very dramatic doesn't it? Like a movie! But here's the thing: Los Angeles Port gets about 45% of its business from China. That's a lot! Too much! It's time to diversify folks! Time to make our own products right here in the good ol' USA. And it's going to be beautiful. The most beautiful products you've ever seen!

An Accord With China? We'll See About That!

Seroka's talking about an 'accord' with China. An accord! These people always want to make deals. But let me tell you I'm not like these other politicians. I'm a negotiator! The best negotiator! If we reach an accord it'll be a tremendous accord. It'll be so good you won't even believe it. But until then China's going to play by our rules. And our rules are very simple: America First!

Tariffs Tariffs Beautiful Tariffs!

These tariffs are tremendous. You wouldn't believe it! We're talking about big numbers. Really big numbers! And they're working! They're bringing China to the table. They're making them think twice about ripping us off. It's about time someone stood up to them. And who is that person? Me! That's who!

Empty Shelves? More Like Well Stocked Shelves With American Made Products!

This economist Torsten Slok he's saying lower imports from China will lead to layoffs and empty shelves. Empty shelves! He's trying to scare you! Don't listen to him! We're not going to have empty shelves. We're going to have shelves filled with American made products. Products made by hardworking Americans. And they're going to be great. The best products in the world!

Blue Shirts and Purple Shirts: A Metaphor for Our Great Economy!

Seroka says you might not find the blue shirt you want just a bunch of purple ones. But that's okay! We're creating jobs people have money to spend and if you really want that blue shirt you will find it eventually. You are going to find the best blue shirt. And maybe it is a purple shirt. You know? Whatever you want we will have it. But the price hikes? Well that's just economics folks. But don't worry it'll all work out. We're winning! Believe me!