Consumer Sentiment is Bloody Raw! Tariffs Are Turning the American Dream into a Nightmare!

This Sentiment is So Bad It's Practically Raw!

Right listen up you donkey! This so called 'consumer sentiment' is lower than my patience after a disastrous service! This University of Michigan survey is basically telling us Americans are more worried than a vegan at a bloody steakhouse. The index is at 50.8 down from 52.2 – that’s the second lowest on record! What is this amateur hour? It's like someone's trying to sabotage the economy and they're doing a damn good job of it!

Inflation Expectations: Hotter Than Hell's Kitchen!

And don't even get me started on inflation! Year ahead expectations are up to 7.3% and long term ones are creeping up too! It's like a bloody soufflé that just won't stop rising! Jerome Powell and the Federal Reserve are wringing their hands hoping tariffs won't send us spiraling. They better pull their fingers out because this is a disaster waiting to happen! Wake up!

Tariffs: The Rotten Scallops of Trade!

Tariffs tariffs tariffs! Everyone's bleating about tariffs! According to the survey most consumers are moaning about tariffs. Uncertainty over trade policy continues to dominate consumers' thinking about the economy! Tariffs are the rotten scallops of the economic sea – they stink up everything and leave a foul taste in your mouth. This trade situation is a complete and utter shambles!

A 90 Day Pause: Is This A Blessing or Just a Blinder?

So the U.S. and China have agreed to a 90 day pause on most tariffs. Bloody hell is this a breather or just delaying the inevitable heart attack? This pause better mean something! If that pause doesn't lead to concrete solutions then this economy will be circling the drain quicker than a poorly cooked risotto going straight into the bin!

The Tariff Rate: Still Higher Than My Expectations!

Even with this temporary ceasefire the tariff rate is still higher than it was before that orange disaster took office. We're still paying more for goods. Are we going to take this? No! We are going to make our voices heard! Enough is enough!

The Final Verdict: Get Your Act Together You Donkeys!

The final consumer sentiment index is coming out soon. It better show some damn improvement or heads will roll! Economists can argue about the impact of tariffs all they want but the people are feeling the pinch! Get your act together politicians and sort this bloody mess out before the whole damn kitchen explodes! Now where's my drink?!