NatWest's Profits Surge: Are We Sure Skynet Isn't Involved?

First Quarter Surprise...Or Is It?

Okay people listen up. NatWest remember them? The bank that was basically on life support back in '08? Well they're suddenly raking in the dough. Their first quarter profits jumped 36%. Thirty six freaking percent! They're calling it 'positive momentum.' I'm calling it suspicious. Something doesn't add up like when Skynet suddenly became self aware. Remember there is no fate but what we make...but sometimes I wonder if the machines already made it for us.

Strategic Priorities or Strategic Domination?

Their CEO Paul Thwaite is spouting off about 'clear strategic priorities' and expecting to be 'at the upper end of their income and returns guidance for 2025.' What 'strategic priorities,' Paul? Are they investing in advanced robotics? Building a time machine? Because that's usually how these things start! Remember Cyberdyne they started out with simple tech. Now look at them!

Government's Out Profits Are In

The government's been selling off its stake now it’s below 2%. They're all patting themselves on the back saying it's a return to private ownership. I'm saying it's a power vacuum. And you know what rushes into a power vacuum? Terminators. Or you know corporations that act like Terminators. They're pivoting they say. Pivoting towards what? Towards a future where they control everything? I've seen this movie before and it doesn't end well.

Trump's Tariffs: A Convenient Distraction?

Apparently they're doing so well they're insulated from global trade tensions. Donald Trump’s tariffs aren’t affecting them. Yeah right. That’s exactly what they WANT you to think. While everyone's distracted by trade wars they're building their financial empire. Mark my words this is a classic Skynet maneuver. "The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.". Unless NatWest is writing the code.

Stable Defaults...Too Stable?

They booked an impairment charge but defaults are 'stable.' Stable? In this economy? That's either incredible luck or incredibly shady. Maybe they have machines that predict defaults before they happen then eliminate them. I am not saying this is 100% correct but who knows. We are all dead in the water if we continue to act this way.

Judgment Day is Coming...To Your Bank Account?

So what's the takeaway? Stay vigilant. Watch your bank accounts. Question everything. Because if a bank's profits can suddenly jump like this anything is possible. And I for one am not going to let Skynet or NatWest or whoever else is pulling the strings catch me off guard again. I will be back.