HP's Viking Raid Derailed! Tariffs Sink Earnings, Stocks Plunge!

The Allfather's Coin Toss: Revenue Rises!

By Odin's beard! HP claims their revenue numbers looked promising. They tell me they made $13.22 billion. Seems like a fortune enough to buy a few new longships and raid a monastery or two eh? Up 3.3% they say from last year. But hold your horses and shield walls because trouble is brewing like a bad batch of mead. Almost enough to make me believe in these new christian gods...

Thor's Hammer Drops: Earnings Plunge!

Here's where the serpent rears its ugly head. Earnings per share? 71 cents! The seers in their infinite wisdom expected 80. That’s like promising a feast and serving up stale bread! Net income also took a dive. Down from $607 million to $406 million. Someone's been raiding the treasury and it ain't me! This is not good 'My sons would have to be brave and strong and good. I was not always good.'

The Trump Tax Jarl Strikes!

Ah and here’s the culprit! These… tariffs. The orange haired Jarl in the West. They say he's causing all the problems. Like Loki he causes mischief and leaves others to clean up the mess. 'I cannot be responsible for people’s free will!' these tariffs have HP's earnings looking as bleak as a winter in Kattegat. Blame him blame the gods blame the Norns but the numbers don’t lie. I'm thinking we need to start raiding this orange haired Jarl! We must build ships again!

HP's Great Heathen Army: Manufacturing Exodus

So what does HP plan to do? Flee! They are shifting production out of China faster than Floki can build a boat. They are trying to move their forces to Vietnam Thailand India Mexico and even back to the U.S. They say by June nearly all their North American goods will be made outside China. A wise move perhaps. Like when I sailed west seeking new lands and avoiding the squabbles at home. 'I want to sail to the west that is my ambition.' I wonder if they'll find gold and glory like I did.

Mitigation Maneuvers: A Viking's Wile

HP's CEO this Enrique Lores claims they'll “fully mitigate the increased trade related costs by Q4.” Ambitious like claiming you can hold back the tide with a shield. We shall see if this is true or just empty boasting like a Jarl trying to impress his rivals. 'Don’t be afraid to fail.' If they succeed they’ll have earned their place at the feast in Valhalla. If not... well there's always Hel.

The Seer's Prophecy: A Grim Forecast

The seers are predicting adjusted earnings of 68 to 80 cents per share for the next quarter. And for the full year between $3 and $3.30 per share. Analysts were expecting more of course. They always do. It’s like expecting a bountiful harvest after planting only weeds. HP better pray to their gods or perhaps Odin will favor them and bring them a fair wind to sail through these troubled waters. Time for mead brothers. And perhaps a raid to this HP to claim our fair share!