Exxon's Treasure: More Shiny Rocks for the Allfather (and Shareholders)

The Serpent's Sting: Profits Down?

Hark shield brothers and shield maidens! Ragnar Lothbrok speaks! I hear whispers that even the giants of the earth like this 'Exxon,' feel the serpent's sting. They say their shiny rocks what you call oil face troubles. The whispers from Wall Street a land I’ve yet to raid speak of earnings lower than last year. Six percent they squawk! Is this the end of their saga? Hardly! Even a wounded wolf still bites. They still hoard $7.71 billion or 1.76 shiny rocks per share.

Permian and Guyana: Lands of Plenty

But fear not for new lands have been found! The 'Permian Basin' and 'Guyana,' distant shores teeming with riches! It is here in these new territories that Exxon has found favor with the gods. Their volume is up! Cost cutting measures have saved the day. Remember what I always say 'Power is always dangerous. It attracts the worst and corrupts the best.' But power is what yields us shiny rocks for the Allfather.

Trump's Tariffs: A Storm Brewing

This 'Trump,' a chieftain across the Great Ocean stirs trouble with his 'tariffs.' He seeks to control the flow of goods much like a Jarl controls his fjord. They say his actions will slow demand for the black gold. Some say it will cause unrest. But even storms pass and the strong will always find a way to steer the ship. As I always say “I believe the gods shape my path. They guide my actions. And they always will.”

Production Soars! Skål!

Fear not for production has soared! Up 20 percent! 4.55 million barrels a day! Let us raise a horn to that! They are returning $9.1 billion to shareholders they say. Much of this is in 'dividends' and 'share purchases' whatever those shiny trinkets may be. Remember my sons 'Never let your emotions overpower your intelligence.'

Expenditures and Guidance: Planning for the Future

They spend $5.9 billion in the first quarter as they have a guidance of spending around $27 $29 billion for 2025. They are setting themselves up for the future. They have understood the game and are ready to pounce on the opportunity just like I did to England and France.

The Allfather's Due: Conclusion

So while the winds of fortune may shift Exxon endures. They navigate the storms they conquer new lands and they continue to appease the Allfather...and the shareholders. After all as I always say 'I want to be remembered as someone who opened people’s minds.' And perhaps also as someone who got rich doing it! Now where's the mead?