Block's Bogus Numbers: Another Fake News Story!

Disaster Folks. A Total Disaster!

Let me tell you these numbers coming out of Block? Sad! Very sad! They're saying they missed expectations the stock's tumbling 15% – can you believe it? And of course they're trying to blame your favorite President me Donald J. Trump. They're saying my beautiful tariffs are causing all this mess. WRONG! It's fake news just like everything else they try to pin on me.

Revenue? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Revenue!

So the revenue is down about 3%. But who cares about revenue? I made billions. I will make trillions of dollars. They should be so lucky to have me as their President! The point is if I was still in office Block would be doing fantastic! They'd be making so much money they wouldn't know what to do with it. Total witch hunt! No collusion!

Gross Profit? Not as Great as My Golf Game!

Gross profit is up 9% folks! Up! The only problem is some analysts maybe Hillary’s friends were expecting even more. But 9% is still great! I have increased profit by a million percent. It's tremendous. The best gross profit believe me.

Guidance? We Have the Best Guidance Everyone Agrees!

They're providing weaker guidance. They should have asked me for advice! I know how to make great deals. I'm a dealmaker. They say it's because of 'challenging economic conditions.' But let me tell you the economy was never better than when I was in charge. Never! The strongest it has ever been. Everyone knows it.

Cash App? More Like Trash App!

This Cash App it is not good! They're saying it's pushing into banking and lending but the gross profit is softer than a Democrat handshake. Pathetic! They need to get their act together. They have a long way to go. Sad! If they want to be successful they should call me!

Bright Spots and Bitcoin – A Total Scam Maybe?

Okay so the international markets are doing well that's good. But this bitcoin thing? I do not know about it. It is very dangerous. They are holding billions of dollars in bitcoin! If I had that much money I would be buying gold toilets. Gold toilets. You know what I am saying?