Aw, Phooey! Palantir CEO Quacks Like a Philosopher!

What in the World is a 'Weltanschauung'?

Aw geez! This Alex Karp fella the big cheese at Palantir is at it again! He wrote another one of those shareholder letters. You know the ones that are longer than my temper tantrums! This time he's quacking about how well his company is doing and how they're all about helping the good ol' U.S. military. 'Oh boy oh boy oh boy!' says Karp quoting himself and just about everyone else in history like St. Augustine and Nixon. He even threw in some stuff from the New Testament! What in the world is a 'Weltanschauung'? I think its German! He's got more quotes than I have feathers! He's talking about this 'Weltanschauung' thingy which he says is like a community with shared beliefs. Sounds like the Junior Woodchucks but probably with more complicated rules! This Karp is really laying an egg with this one.

Heretics in the Valley!

He then quacked about how Silicon Valley nearly gave them the old heave ho! Can you believe it? It is like when I try to enter Uncle $crooge's money bin! And how they are still buddies with the military even when it is a pain in the tailfeathers! Sounds like someone's trying to ruffle some feathers in the tech pond! He called them "heretics" and a "motley band." Sounds like my bowling team except they're probably way richer and know more about computers. All I know is that computers never listen to me when I yell at them!

Love Everyone (Except Maybe Pete)

Then this Karp quoted St. Augustine about loving everyone but helping the people closest to you first. That's just what I do with Huey Dewey and Louie! Though sometimes I wish I could send them to the moon... I mean I love those nephews but sometimes they're more trouble than a…than a…a whole barrel of monkeys! He claims 'All men are to be loved equally'. Phooey! I'd say all Ducks should be loved equally!

Cultural Elites? More Like Cultural...Eeegh!

He even dragged in some French guy Michel Houellebecq to talk about those fancy 'cultural elites.' Apparently they think they're better than everyone else just because they're smart or something. Well I think I am fancy! Like when I wear my sailor suit and talk to Daisy then I am a fancy duck! I'll show those elites a thing or two!

Nixon?! Why Nixon?!

And the kicker? He ended the letter with a quote from President Nixon! Aw come on! Nixon?! That's like quoting Gladstone Gander on how to be lucky! 'Always remember others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.' I don't know about that but I know that hating Pete usually just makes me angrier. He says to root out the "cynics and the skeptics" whatever that means.

This Whole Thing is Driving Me...Insane!

So there you have it! Alex Karp the philosopher CEO is still quacking up a storm! I tell ya this whole thing is driving me...INSANE! But hey at least it gives me something to yell about besides Huey Dewey and Louie turning my house into a jungle gym! Now if you'll excuse me I need to go find my lucky dime. Maybe it will help me understand what Karp is talking about. Or maybe it will just buy me a nice piece of pie. Pie is always a good answer!