Ehhh What's Up Doc? Kohl's Stock Plunges Faster Than I Can Dig a Hole!

Of Course There's No Business Like Shoe Business!

Eh what's up Doc? It's me Bugs Bunny reporting live from... well not exactly a warren but Kohl's! Seems our fine feathered friends over at Kohl's just released their latest financial report and hoo boy is it a doozy! They beat expectations for the quarter but then they dropped a guidance bomb that made their stock price plummet faster than Yosemite Sam chasing me off a cliff. 'Sufferin' succotash!' as Sylvester would say.

Self Inflicted Wounds: That's Despicable!

Now CEO Ashley Buchanan who took the reins back in January is saying they kinda messed up by chasing shiny new things instead of focusing on what their loyal customers actually wanted. Fine jewelry? Petite clothing? Their own brands? Apparently these were put on the back burner. Buchanan admitted that the problems were 'self inflicted over many years of decisions.' Sounds like someone forgot the carrot and stuck to the celery if you catch my drift! 'A ha!'

Coupon Chaos! What a Maroon!

And get this Doc! They started excluding too many brands from their coupons! Can you imagine? A coupon less Kohl's is like a carrot less Bugs Bunny! Downright unthinkable! Buchanan confessed this caused frustration and confusion and they're trying to fix it. Well it's about time! As the ever wise Porky Pig would say 'Th th th that's all folks!' ...or at least it *should* be.

Numbers Numbers Everywhere!

Alright let's get down to the nitty gritty. We're talking about earnings per share at 95 cents revenue at $5.18 billion... But here's the catch: they're predicting revenue to *fall* by 5% to 7% next year. Ouch! That's worse than Elmer Fudd's aim! And comparable sales are expected to drop 4% to 6%. Double ouch! Even *I* know those numbers ain't lookin' too good doc.

Layoffs and Store Closures? Time to Dig a Tunnel!

To add insult to injury Kohl's already cut almost 10% of their corporate workforce and is closing 27 underperforming stores. Sounds like they're tightening their belt tighter than I squeeze through Elmer Fudd's rifle barrel! They blame elevated inflation and falling consumer confidence. A potential recession looming? That's enough to make even *me* nervous!

Beauty Saves the Day!?

But hold on a cotton pickin' minute! It ain't all doom and gloom. Their Sephora partnership is booming! Beauty sales are up 13%! Maybe Kohl's should just sell carrots and makeup. That way *I* can get all the carrots I want and you humans can... well do whatever it is you do with makeup! 'Ain't I a stinker?'