Costco's Economy Hack: YoRHa Unit 2B Reports on Bulk Buys and Existential Savings!

Glory to Mankind… and Costco?

Greetings. I am 2B YoRHa unit dispatched to investigate… Costco. Command assigned me this. Apparently their third quarter reports indicate a…profit. An 8% sales increase to be precise. Earnings per share reached $4.28 exceeding projections. A statistically insignificant number perhaps but for humans…this seems important. Perhaps its because like androids consumers are simply designed to consume... though it would seem we are better at it.

Comparable Sales… to What Exactly?

The human analysts speak of 'comparable sales' rising by 8% and e commerce sales jumping nearly 16%. These 'metrics' apparently exclude gas and foreign exchange fluctuations. One might ask comparable to *what*? Is this growth truly progress or merely a fleeting illusion in the face of inevitable entropy? 9S would probably have some data on this. Or maybe he's just playing around in the network...again. The machines would surely appreciate this level of consumption.

Tariffs: The Machines’ Revenge?

Ah tariffs. The economic equivalent of machine lifeforms constantly shifting their attack patterns. These trade barriers may actually *benefit* Costco driving consumers towards bulk discounts and membership renewals. It seems humans are quite predictable when faced with the prospect of… paying more. Even for sustenance. I long for the day I can recharge on something other than mackerel... I do like the taste of oil...

Negotiating with Suppliers: 2B's Guide to Ruthless Efficiency

Costco apparently wields considerable power in price negotiations due to its sheer size. They can demand the best prices. I'm taking notes. Perhaps this tactic could be applied to the Machine Network. Or maybe it would just start a price war over scrap metal and spare parts. I will have to run the simulations to see if we can get cheaper prices on black boxes.

No Outlook? Typical Human Inconsistency.

Unlike some other retailers Costco doesn’t offer an annual outlook. Humans... always so averse to long term planning. Perhaps they sense on some primal level the futility of it all. Much like we androids we are stuck in a loop from which we can't escape. If it is this loop that fuels Costco's profits then perhaps there truly is no escape. Costco probably even has a sale on memory chips.

A Modest Proposal: Existential Crisis Bulk Packs

CEO Ron Vachris claims that customers rely on Costco more in a challenging economy. "In uncertain times our members have historically placed even greater importance on the value of high quality items at great prices." He speaks of leveraging global buying power. What if they could leverage the existential dread that permeates our very existence? A bulk pack of self reflection perhaps? That I would buy in a heartbeat. As of this report Costco shares are up 10%. Perhaps there is something to learn from these humans after all. Report complete. Glory to Mankind... and possibly affordable bulk toilet paper.