Giggity! Pizza Hut Flops While Taco Bell Rings My Bell!

Earnings? More Like 'Arrrnings'!

Alright alright alright! Quagmire here ready to break down these Yum Brands numbers. Turns out they raked in $1.79 billion in revenue. Not bad but they were hoping for a bit more... kinda like my dates after I reveal I still live in my parents' house. Giggity! Earnings per share? $1.30! That's enough for a few… slices of life if you catch my drift.

Pizza Hut's Having a 'Bad Time'!?

Oh Pizza Hut you poor delicious thing. Same store sales DROPPED 2%! A steeper decline than Lois' standards when she's had a few too many Chardonnay's! Ouch! The U.S. market took a bigger hit falling a whole 5%! Looks like someone needs a little 'giggity' to spice things up! Maybe I should offer my… personal consulting services? Giggity giggity goo!

Taco Bell: Hotter Than a July Afternoon!

Now Taco Bell THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! Same store sales UP 9%! That's hotter than… well hotter than any redhead I've ever met! Clearly people are craving that late night Baja Blast and a Doritos Locos Taco. Makes me wanna shout 'Alright!'

KFC: Finger Lickin'… Meh?

KFC held its own with a modest 2% increase in same store sales. But here's the clucker (get it?): their U.S. sales are shrinking! Seems like Wingstop and Raising Cane's are giving the Colonel a run for his money. Maybe they need to add a 'Quagmire's Spicy Surprise' to the menu? I'm full of ideas giggity!

Digital Giggity!

Digital orders are HUGE! 55% of Yum's sales come from apps and kiosks. It's like the world is finally catching on to my love of… technology! Giggity. Imagine ordering a pizza with a wink and a smile on your phone... Oh the possibilities!

CEO's Hangin' Up His Spurs… Almost!

CEO David Gibbs is calling it quits in 2026. Time for a new captain at the helm! I volunteer! I may not know much about running a company but I sure know how to… *ahem*… 'motivate' the staff. And I promise every meeting will end with a 'giggity!' Who's with me?!