Eat My Shorts, Empty Offices! U.S. Office Market Gets a Facelift!

Ay Caramba! Offices Going Bye Bye!

Alright dudes and dudettes listen up! Word on the street—or should I say word from some boring company called CBRE—is that the U.S. office market is like totally changing. After years of being sad and empty more offices are getting the ol' heave ho than are being built! That’s right demolition derby time! They’re saying this hasn’t happened in like forever. Or at least since before I was born. Which let’s be honest feels like forever.

Cowabunga Vacancy Rates Dropping!

So what does this all mean? Well according to some guy named Mike Watts (probably a Milhouse in disguise) less office space could mean lower vacancy rates. Translation: Building owners might actually start making money again! All thanks to the fact that everyone and their grandma are working from home in their pajamas. Can't argue with that logic man.

I Didn't Do It! Blame Remote Work!

Turns out this whole mess is because of that remote work thing. Ever since the pandemic (which let's be honest was a major bummer) people realized they could ditch the tie and the soul crushing commute. Now office vacancies are sky high like my chances of passing Mrs. Krabappel's class. But don’t have a cow man! Things are looking up kinda. More bosses are making their employees go back to the office full time. Talk about a buzzkill!

Eat My Shorts Rent is Recovering!

But get this: office rents in prime spots are starting to bounce back especially for those fancy schmancy Class A offices. Who benefits? Some big shot companies like Vornado and SL Green. Good for them I guess. More money to buy stuff I can then TP their buildings with! He he he!

Excellent! New Apartments on the Horizon!

And here's the kicker: they're turning these old offices into apartments! According to some lady named Jessica Morin (probably related to Principal Skinner) this will make neighborhoods more lively. Since 2016 they've made like 33,000 apartments from old offices. Now that's what I call recycling man!

Don't Have a Cow Man! It Ain't All Sunshine

Of course there's a catch. Some dude probably a nerd named Watts said that finding buildings to turn into apartments is getting harder. Plus the cost of building stuff is still super expensive. So it's not all sunshine and lollipops but at least it's something right? Now if you'll excuse me I have some mischief to manage! Doh!