Tesla Robotaxis! Are We There Yet?! Jackie Chan Weighs In!

Aiyya! Robotaxis Still a Dream?

Hello everybody! It's Jackie! So I read this news and Elon Musk he promised robotaxis for TEN YEARS! Ten years! That's like I filmed maybe… 20 movies in that time? And still no robotaxis? Aiyya! It’s like trying to catch a fly with chopsticks – very difficult! He says 'One big software update!' But life she's not so simple like my movies always action always… not always easy to predict!

Full Self Driving? More Like 'Full Self Driving… Maybe'!

So Tesla has this 'Full Self Driving' (Supervised) thing. In China they call it 'intelligent assisted driving.' Sounds… less scary maybe? Like when I’m doing a stunt and someone is 'assisting' me. Still gotta do the jump myself! They say 'Keep your hands on the wheel!' But people they don't listen! Like when I tell Chris Tucker to stay in the car in *Rush Hour*! Chaos! Remember safety first! Don't be a crazy driver!

Crash! Bang! Not the Good Kind!

Here's where it gets serious. These 'partially automated' systems they cause problems. Accidents! Injuries! No good! It's like when I’m choreographing a fight scene – gotta be precise or someone gets hurt! This FSD it does some things 'amazingly well' but then… BAM! It messes up. And that mess up can be… dangerous! So be careful out there eh? Don’t risk it for a biscuit!

Musk's Efficiency Drive and the Tesla Tumble!

Elon he's busy with government stuff now. Slashing jobs and... what was it? Ah! Supporting interesting political parties. Hmm. Maybe he should focus on making the cars not crash first? Just a thought! Because all this is making people angry. Protests! Boycotts! Even vandalism! Like when the bad guys try to smash my antique vase collection! It's not good for business folks. Stock price goes down deliveries go down... ouch!

The Robotaxi Promise: This June... Maybe?

They say robotaxis are coming in June! In Austin Texas! I hope they are ready! Otherwise it will be like *Shanghai Noon 3* never happens! Experts are skeptical. They say FSD is not ready. It works great in the day but then… suddenly… FAIL! Like trying to use a nunchuck to peel a banana. Possible but… messy! Remember what I always say 'I do martial arts for defense. For sport I play tennis.' FSD needs to be all sport and no defense.

Watch the Video! Stay Safe!

So watch the video be careful with your Tesla and remember… safety is no accident! I have been there and done that. Don’t trust the machine too much! Keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel! And if all else fails… maybe just take the bus! Ha ha! Okay bye bye everybody! And don’t try this at home!