Eat My Shorts, Waymo! Tesla's Robotaxis Invade Austin!

Cowabunga Cars Without Drivers!

Alright dudes and dudettes Bart Simpson here giving you the 4 1 1 on the latest buzz! Tesla that electric car company Mr. Burns probably drives finally launched their robotaxis in Austin. Yeah like no drivers! It's like the future man! And guess what? The stock went up! Woohoo! I bet even Milhouse is impressed... maybe.

420 Dude! A Flat Fee for Freedom?

Elon Musk – the guy who's probably cooler than Principal Skinner but not by much – announced that these robotaxi rides are gonna cost you a flat $4.20. Four twenty? Heh heh! That's kinda sus. I wonder if that's a coincidence or if Bart should be looking deeper into this. I'm on to you Musk!

Brainiacs Behind the Wheel (Kinda)

Musk is giving shout outs to the Tesla AI team calling them geniuses for making this happen. I bet even Lisa would be impressed if she wasn't so busy saving the whales or something. 'Super congratulations'? Sounds like something she'd say! These brainiacs spent like a decade on this thing. Let's hope it doesn't crash into the Springfield sign or worse Krusty Burger.

Smooth Rides or Sideshow Bob Scare?

Some lucky dweeb who got to ride the robotaxi said it was 'smooth as butter.' Eleven rides with 'zero issues.' Sounds boring! Where's the fun in that? No near death experiences? No Sideshow Bob appearances? Come on Tesla step up your game!

Waymo Get Outta the Way Man!

Apparently there's another robotaxi company called Waymo already doing this in other cities. But Musk wants a 'million' of these things on the road by next year. A million! That's like a whole lotta opportunities for pranks. Think of the possibilities! Squeaky wheel shopping cart anyone?

Danger Danger! Safety First (Maybe?)

Alright time for the buzzkill. Some people are worried about these driverless cars pointing out that Tesla's 'full self driving' thingy has been linked to accidents. Whoa seriously? Ay caramba! Maybe these things ain't so cool after all. I still wanna prank one though.