Why So Serious About Tariffs China's Exports Clown Around!

A Little Anarchy Never Hurt Anyone (Except Maybe the U.S.)

Well well well what do we have here? Looks like someone's trade war isn't going according to plan! China's exports decided to have a little fun in April jumping a delightful 8.1% leaving those dull economists at Reuters scratching their heads. I love it when a plan comes together... and then immediately falls apart for someone else. It seems those pesky tariffs from Uncle Sam were about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. As I always say 'Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos.'

Shipments Ahoy! (To Anywhere But America)

Oh the irony! While the U.S. sulked in the corner receiving 21% fewer goodies from China Southeast Asia was throwing a party! Shipments to ASEAN countries went up a jolly 20.8%. Vietnam and Malaysia are the stars of the show while Indonesia and Thailand are the perfect sidekicks. It's like watching a game of global Whac A Mole except instead of moles it's shipments and instead of a hammer it's tariffs. And guess what? The mole always wins! Or in this case China.

Transshipment Tango: Now You See It Now You Don't!

Ah the subtle art of transshipment. Zhiwei Zhang some asset management guy suspects some trickery involving third countries and pre tariff contracts. 'Why so serious?' It's all just a bit of fun! Like a magician's trick goods appear to vanish from one place only to reappear somewhere else. Don't you just love a good mystery? I know I do! Especially when it involves sticking it to the boring establishment types.

Stimulus Shenanigans and Deflation Delights

To combat the tariff tantrums China's decided to throw a stimulus party. Easing monetary policy supporting tariff hit businesses – it's all quite generous really. But it also leads to deflation which is always a laugh riot. Picture this: everyone's got more money but things are getting cheaper! Madness! Absolute madness! Though the economists would like that so I don't know.

Job Losses and Market Mayhem (The Perfect Recipe!)

Oh and did I mention Goldman Sachs estimates China could lose 16 million jobs? That's 2% of the labor force! Now *that's* entertainment! People losing their jobs because of a silly trade war? You can't make this stuff up! The CSI 300 index fell a measly 0.23% which is almost disappointing. I prefer my market crashes with a bit more... *oomph*.

Talks in Switzerland: Let's Put a Smile on That Trade War!

Word on the street is that U.S. and Chinese officials are meeting in Switzerland. Oh how exciting! Maybe they'll have a lovely chat over some fondue and everything will be sunshine and rainbows. Or maybe just maybe they'll realize the whole thing is utterly absurd. One can only hope! I love to laugh! A phased rollback of tariffs you say? Sounds like a slow motion train wreck and I for one will be watching with popcorn in hand. After all why so serious?