Vancouver's Dark Knight: SUV Rampage at Filipino Fest - Why So Serious?

A Little Anarchy in the Great White North

Well hello there Gothamites! Or should I say Vancouver ites? News reaches even my twisted ears of a little… *incident* at a Filipino community festival. Seems a fella let's call him our 'agent of chaos,' decided to spice things up with an SUV. Eleven dead dozens injured. And they say Canada's boring? HA! Shows what they know. It's all part of the plan see? Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and the police? 'Significant history' with the mental health system they say. As if that explains anything. People just snap like a dry twig. Or maybe… just maybe… they’re given a little *push*.

The Darkest Day? Oh Please!

The Interim Chief Constable wails 'This is the darkest day in our city's history!' Oh you sweet summer child. Darkest day? Please. I could arrange a far darker day before brunch. This is just… a prelude. A taste of what happens when people stop following the rules. Rules are for sheep you see. And occasionally they're for exploding ferries but that's a story for another time. I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.

Campaigning Through the Carnage

And good ol' Prime Minister Mark Carney bless his heart delays his campaign for a few hours before resuming. 'Condolences to the Filipino community!' he cries. How touching. Politicians… always so predictable. Like a wind up toy that keeps bumping into walls. Makes you wonder what it takes to rattle these guys. Perhaps a few more SUVs? Just spitballing here!

No Motive? Now That's Funny!

No motive they say. Ha! Oh how I love it when the so called 'authorities' are baffled. Isn't it obvious? Chaos my dears! Pure unadulterated chaos! A desire to see the world burn! Or you know maybe the guy just had a bad day. But where's the fun in that explanation? Some people just want to watch the world burn.

Vehicular Vengeance: A Canadian Tradition?

They mention other vehicle attacks. A Muslim family a lunch crowd in Toronto. Seems Canadians are getting creative with their road rage! A bit pedestrian if you ask me. But points for effort. It proves my point doesn't it? Everyone's one bad day away from becoming me! Or at least from becoming a guy who drives an SUV through a crowd.

A Final Bow to the Absurdity

So there you have it folks. A tragedy a farce a perfect cocktail of human folly. All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. And you know what? I'm having a *wonderful* time. Why so serious?