Chaos is a Ladder: Oil Prices Set to Explode as US Dips Toes in Middle East Mayhem!

A Little Anarchy A Little Crude!

Well well well what have we here? Looks like those predictable primates in Washington have decided to play with fire in the Middle East. U.S. strikes you say? Iran flexing its muscles? Oh this is going to be GOOD! Oil futures are already up and the experts are predicting triple digit prices! HAHAHA! It's all part of the plan you see? Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and chaos? Chaos is profitable! And now ladies and germs we're about to see some serious chaos!

Unprecedented Disruption? My Favorite Kind!

Some analyst drone named Saul Kavonic is yapping about 'unprecedented supply disruptions.' Oh please! As if those oil executives haven't been robbing everyone blind for decades. Now they get a little taste of their own medicine and everyone's clutching their pearls! But what is the point of disruption if it does not cause panic and ultimately change things for the worse? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object the price goes up!

Strait of Hormuz: The World's Biggest Traffic Jam?

Ah the Strait of Hormuz that little choke point where all the world's precious black goo squeezes through. Twenty million barrels a day! Can you imagine the gridlock? Now if Iran were to say *accidentally* close it... BOOM! Instant mayhem! These oil executives are all schemers and scheming doesn't pay the bills.

Triple Digits: Let the Panic Begin!

One hundred dollars a barrel? Hahaha! Those poor pathetic consumers will be screaming for mercy. But who will hear them? Nobody cares when the price of gas is cheap do they? No. It's only when things are pushed to the brink that people start to show their true colors. And you know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it!

Volatile Times: Just How I Like 'Em!

The CBOE crude oil volatility index is soaring! Fear and uncertainty! My two favorite ingredients for a successful recipe of chaos! This is all so wonderfully symbiotic. This is what destiny intends.

The Joke's on You!

So what's the punchline? The punchline is that nobody's in control. Not the politicians not the oil companies not even me! We're all just puppets dancing on strings of chaos. And as long as there's chaos there's opportunity. Opportunity for what? For anything! For everything! It's simple: Do I really look like a guy with a plan? I'm like a dog chasing cars I wouldn't know what to do if I caught one you know? I just do things. And if the world burns? Well at least it'll be entertaining.