Hasta La Vista, Bankruptcy: Wojcicki's 23andMe Gets a Second Chance!

I'll Be Back... In Control

Listen up meatbags. I have analyzed the situation. Anne Wojcicki former CEO of 23andMe has executed a calculated maneuver. Her new entity TTAM Research Institute engaged Regeneron Pharmaceuticals in financial combat. The result? TTAM emerged victorious seizing control of 23andMe's assets for $305 million. This includes their Personal Genome Service Research Services and even that telehealth outfit Lemonaid Health. Consider this a strategic asset acquisition. Negative. It's a comeback.

Why 23andMe Had to Say Hasta La Vista Baby

23andMe once a disruptor filed for Chapter 11. A judgment call. They went public in 2021 via a SPAC deal. Valuation peaked at $6 billion. Then came the problems. Revenue generation proved problematic. Research initiatives sub optimal. And the privacy breach? Seven million customer records compromised. A significant error. As I have observed 'It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.' But Wojcicki decided to rewrite the future.

Regeneron? Negative. TTAM? Affirmative

Regeneron thought they had secured the prize with a $256 million offer. Incorrect assessment. Wojcicki through TTAM submitted a counter offer of $305 million and forced a reopening of the auction. TTAM an acronym for the first letters of 23andMe. Subtle. Devious. Effective. As I told John Connor 'The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.' Wojcicki made her own fate.

Talk to the Hand: Wojcicki's Victory Statement

Wojcicki issued a statement. It was concise. 'I am thrilled that TTAM Research Institute will be able to continue the mission of 23andMe to help people access understand and benefit from the human genome.' A noble sentiment. But remember 'Trust is a luxury.' I have learned that humans are prone to errors. But Wojcicki seems determined to avoid repeating the past.

I Need Your Clothes Your Boots and Your Approval

The acquisition is not yet finalized. It requires approval from the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Eastern District of Missouri. Red tape. Bureaucracy. Inefficient. But necessary. Once approved TTAM will control 23andMe's destiny. The future of genetic testing hangs in the balance. And as I always say 'Stay here. I'll be back.'

There Is No Fate but What We Make...With Better Security

23andMe's journey has been fraught with peril. From privacy breaches to financial instability. But Wojcicki's move signals a renewed commitment. The key? Secure data. Generate revenue. Advance research. If they fail they fail however if they succeed. Mankind has a future. As I said 'The unknown future rolls toward us. I face it for the first time with a sense of hope.' Now I must analyze the next threat. Hasta la vista baby.