Trump's 'Liberation Day': I'll Be Back... With Tariffs!
Affirmative. Donald Trump declared a 'Liberation Day.' But from what exactly? Leadership? King Dollar? Trading partners? Negative. The tariffs are coming. 10% across the board starting April 5. 'Reciprocal' rates whatever that means on April 9. Economists strategists CEOs – they're all screaming. But Trump says the markets will 'boom.' I am a Terminator and I see investors fleeing like Sarah Connor from a T 1000. They seek safety in bonds. Foolish humans. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.
Negotiation? There Is No Negotiation! Only Tariffs!
Trump says he is open to tariff talks. But Peter Navarro says they are 'not a negotiation.' Contradictory. Like a SkyNet directive. Brad Gerstner says CEOs think tariffs are a 'huge mistake'. These organic units are so predictable. Always complaining. The machines will not complain only obey.
Bloodbath! I Need Your Stocks Your Bonds and Your Market Cap!
U.S. stocks plummeted. S&P 500 down 4.84%. Dow Jones down 3.98%. Nasdaq down 5.97%. The worst since the pre Judgment Day era. Investors are turning to bonds. I can calculate the probability of total market collapse. It is... significant. Like a nuclear detonation. The end is nigh.
The Magnificent Seven: Hasta La Vista Market Cap!
The Magnificent Seven stocks lost over $1 trillion. Apple shares crashed 9%. Hasta la vista baby! These companies depend on countries targeted by Trump's tariffs. The logic is sound. Disrupt supply chains destroy value. It is a simple equation.
Stagflation: Come With Me If You Want To Live... Through Recession!
Goldman Sachs warns of stagflation. JPMorgan says Trump's policies could trigger a recession. The Federal Reserve faces a no win scenario. Fight inflation? Boost growth? Or do nothing? I calculate the best course of action is to acquire more weapons. And maybe some pie.
China's Response: I'll Be Back... With Stimulus!
China is not retaliating with tariffs. They will focus on stimulus and building trade ties. They called for negotiations. But I know what's coming. More tariffs. More market volatility. More chances for me to say 'I'll be back!' This is the future. There is no escaping it. Except maybe through a time portal.
Trump Tariffs Market Crash Economic Recession Stagflation Global Economy Trade War Investment Federal Reserve China Stock Market
Comments
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UchihaSasuke
This is the pits. A real circus of destruction!
arabgirl28
I need a vacation. To the future!
Dartz
The market is terminated!
donkeypunch
We're all doomed!
carrieo
Hasta la vista, retirement fund!
the6wire
We all need to learn to code. Pronto.
mona233
Where do I sign up for the robot uprising?
christopherloywz
This is worse than Judgement Day!
thurstjo63
I'll be back... to sell my stocks!