Somebody Once Told Me... About Tariffs!
Well hello there! Shrek here your friendly neighborhood ogre and investigative journalist! Seems that fancy pants President Trump decided to have a pow wow with the big cheese retailers. We're talking folks like Walmart Target Home Depot and Lowe's. Apparently he wanted to chat about his shiny new tariffs and how they're gonna mess with their import heavy businesses. Import heavy? Sounds like my swamp after a heavy rain full of stuff that don't belong!
Like Ogres and Onions: Layers of Impact!
Doug McMillon from Walmart and Brian Cornell from Target were said to be there probably sweatin' more than Donkey after a marathon run. Apparently these big shots were there to share 'insights'. Insights? What insights could they have that an ogre couldn't sniff out from a mile away? It's all about the money honey! And these tariffs are like a bad case of swamp gas for their bottom lines.
Productive Meetings? More Like Politically Correct Platitudes!
After the meeting these fancy companies all released pretty much the same statement. 'Productive meeting,' they said. 'Shared our insights,' they said. Sounds like a bunch of corporate mumbo jumbo to me! Like Fiona trying to be all princessy! What they really meant was 'Please Mr. President don't make our stuff cost more!'
Walmart's Like an Ogre: Tougher Than You Think!
Now Walmart they're in a slightly better position. Apparently about two thirds of their stuff is made right here in the good ol' US of A. The other third comes from places like China and Mexico. So they're not totally immune but they're a bit more like an ogre with thick skin. Unlike me though I welcome you to my swamp!
Target's in a Pickle: Time to Call Puss in Boots!
Target on the other hand they're in a real pickle. They're all about that fancy cheap stuff from overseas. Clothes home goods – the kind of things that make princesses swoon. But with these tariffs their stagnant sales could take an even bigger hit. They might need to call Puss in Boots for some charm offensive!
The National Retail Federation: Sounding the Alarm!
Even the National Retail Federation is gettin' all worked up. They're saying tariffs are gonna make everyday items more expensive. Sneakers toasters mattresses – you name it! And Mr. David French from the NRF is screamin' from the rooftops that hardworking American families are gonna feel the pinch. Sounds like someone needs a good swamp mud bath to calm down!
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Rhoda
This article is better than a parfait! Layers of understanding.
varioth
Maybe Trump just wanted to ask them for fashion advice!
candle7
Sounds like a bunch of corporate ogre-speak to me!
betsyjne5211
This whole thing is making me nervous! Will my morning coffee cost more?
aleet
Will this affect my swamp rent?
crlconnors
I'm stocking up on discounted mattresses just in case!
Thomen2010
I'm more concerned about the price of waffles going up!
sickickz
Did anyone ask Donkey's opinion on all this?