Yo Adrian! We Got an American Pope! Holy Baloney!

From Philly to the Vatican: It's a Long Shot!

Yo Adrian you ain't gonna believe this! They got themselves a new Pope right? But this ain't no ordinary Pope. This fella Robert Francis Prevost comes from Chicago! An American Pope can you imagine? Never thought I'd see the day. It's like Apollo Creed becoming a priest or somethin'. Life throws you curveballs ya know? Like Mick used to say 'It ain't about how hard you can hit but how hard you can get hit and keep movin' forward!' This Pope's gonna have to take a lot of hits.

Trump's Two Cents: Heavy Hitters!

So the big guy Trump he's all excited about it. He's sayin' it's a 'Great Honor' for the country. He wants to meet the Pope too. Sounds like a photo op in the makin'. But get this this new Pope Leo XIV he ain't always been a fan of Trump. Remember that time I met Mr. T? Well this is kinda like that only with more robes and less gold chains. It's gonna be interesting that's for sure. 'If I can change and you can change everybody can change!' Maybe the Pope can change Trump's mind about somethin'.

JD Vance Gets a Jab: The Catholic Kid!

Turns out this Pope Leo XIV or at least his Twitter account went after JD Vance about his take on Jesus. Said JD was wrong about lovin' thy neighbor. Ouch! That's gotta sting. But JD he's takin' it like a champ. He congratulated the Pope said he'll pray for him. See Adrian? Even when you get knocked down you gotta get back up. 'It's not over 'til it's over!'

Deportation Blues: A Real Gut Punch!

And get this back in April this Pope's account also went after Trump for those deportation efforts. Quoted a Bishop sayin' 'Do you not see the suffering?' Heavy stuff Adrian. Makes you think about what's right and wrong ya know? Like when I had to fight Clubber Lang I had to figure out what I was fightin' for. This Pope he sounds like he knows what he's fightin' for.

Smoke Signals: White Smoke American Hope!

So they picked this guy after Pope Francis kicked the bucket. White smoke comin' out the chimney and all that jazz. Trump even joked about wantin' to be Pope himself! Can you picture that? Trump in a Pope hat? I'd pay to see that. He even posted some AI picture of him as the pope. But seriously this is a big deal Adrian. This is like goin' fifteen rounds with Apollo Creed. This Pope's got a tough job ahead of him.

Biden and Obama Weigh In: Left Hooks and Righteousness!

Biden and Obama they chimed in too. Biden gave the 'Habemus papam' shout out and Obama mentioned the Chicago connection. Everybody's hopin' this Pope does a good job. This is bigger than just one city Adrian. This is about the whole world. 'Going in one more round when you don't think you can that's what makes all the difference in your life.' This Pope's gotta be ready for a whole lotta rounds.