Yo Adrian, Trump's Tariffs Ain't No Meteor Strike!

Yo What's This Tariff Thing?

Listen up I been hearin' all this jabber about tariffs. This fancy White House guy name of Stephen Miran he's sayin' these tariffs ain't gonna bump up prices no more than a meteor smashin' into South Street! A meteor! That's like sayin' I ain't gonna get winded chasin' chickens! It’s crazy talk even for Philly.

Rare Events? More Like a Left Hook!

This Miran fella he's on TV 'Squawk Box' or somethin' sayin' rare stuff happens. Meteors pandemics... tariffs hittin' our wallets? He's sayin' it's all the same! I tell ya that's like me tellin' Apollo Creed 'Nah I ain't gonna punch ya champ!' – it ain't gonna happen that way. Somebody's gonna get a price punch to the gut.

No Crystal Ball Just a Gut Feeling

Miran says he ain't got no crystal ball. Well neither do I! But I got a gut and it's tellin' me somethin's cookin'. He's pushin' this report sayin' imported goods prices went down. But Trump he been delayin' these tariffs like me stallin' on doin' the dishes. That don't mean the dishes disappear see? It just means the mess is waitin'.

They're Stockpiling Adrian!

See what they ain't tellin' ya straight is that companies they been buyin' stuff like crazy before these tariffs hit. Like me buyin' all the meat at the shop before Paulie eats it all! So prices ain't jumped yet but they will. Trust me they will. It's like holdin' your breath you can only do it for so long.

Eventually the Meteor Hits...

This Miran guy he even admits 'Eventually a meteor's gonna strike.' See? Even he knows! It's just a matter of time. But he expects you to wait to see the meteor? That's like askin' me to wait for Apollo to win. It's not going to happen!

Gauges and Such: The Numbers Game

They're lookin' at these fancy things called PCE and CPI tellin' us prices went down. But I'm tellin' ya don't get caught up in the numbers! It's like Mickey used to say 'Numbers don't lie but they can be a real distraction'. Watch your wallet. That's the only number that really matters.