Good News Everyone! Tesla's Robotaxi: A Wobbly Step Towards the Future?

A Robotaxi? Or Just a Fancy Golf Cart?

Good news everyone! I Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth have been observing this newfangled contraption called a 'robotaxi' from Tesla. Apparently they launched this thing in June but with so many asterisks it looks like a poorly constructed mathematical equation. Supervised invite only and only a handful of vehicles... sounds less like a revolution and more like a slightly less disastrous science fair project. And they didn't even offer me a ride! I invented the What If Machine for Pete's sake!

Stock Surge? More Like a Hiccup!

Ah yes the stock jumped a whole 8%. A testament to the gullibility of investors I say! But like a badly calibrated doomsday device it quickly fizzled out. One analyst a Mr. Dan Ives called it a '10 out of 10'. Clearly he hasn't seen my Smell O Scope in action. Now that's a ten! It's good that the car has good maneuverability but even I managed to modify a wheel chair for Leela.

Wrong Side of the Road? Sounds About Right!

Of course not all experiences were as rosy as Fry after drinking a Slurm Loco. Driving on the wrong side of the road? Stopping in the middle of traffic? Sounds like my attempts to teach Zoidberg to drive! Another analyst called it a 'robotaxi infant.' A fitting description if you ask me. Needs constant supervision lest it injure itself or worse others! To shreds you say?

Musk's Promises: As Reliable as a Time Paradox!

Oh Elon! Always promising the moon delivering... well something vaguely lunar shaped. Robotaxis by 2020? A Tesla fleet generating income while you're on vacation? Hogwash! Sounds like something I'd promise to secure funding for another one of my ill conceived inventions. The man's got chutzpah I'll give him that. But chutzpah doesn't replace good old fashioned science. And you know what they say a chutzpah saved is a chutzpah earned!

Lidar? Radar? Who Needs 'Em?!

Here's where things get interesting or as I like to say 'potentially explosive!' Tesla shuns radar and lidar relying on cameras alone. Like trying to navigate the universe with a rusty telescope! Other companies are using both because its good for redundancy. 'Software can make up the difference,' says Musk. Maybe maybe not! We will see or perhaps we won't!

Teaching a Dog to Drive vs. Mapping the Universe

The real head scratcher is Tesla's 'general solution' approach. Every Tesla everywhere all the time? That's like trying to invent a device that solves all of life's problems with a single button. Impossible! Waymo's approach focusing on smaller areas seems far more... sane. But if their autonomous vehicle is running the same software as their search engine then the robotaxi is more likely to lead you to the closest dumpster than your home. And now to invent a device that can play the kazoo!