Good News Everyone! Middle East Crisis Sparkles with 'Rising Lion' and 'Hard Retaliation'

Oh Dear It Appears We Have a Situation

Good news everyone! It seems Israel and Iran have decided to engage in a delightful game of 'who can launch more projectiles,' with air raid sirens serenading the citizens of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. Iran never one to be outdone has threatened to involve U.S. bases in this heartwarming exchange. As I always say 'A little conflict is good for the soul!' Or was that bad? I can never remember...

Incoming! Duck and Cover or Maybe Just Order Pizza

According to reports Iran is launching another volley of missiles while Israeli 'Iron Dome' systems are working overtime. And would you believe it it appears Tehran is putting their own defenses to the test. It's like a high stakes game of Pong except with significantly more explosions. I haven't seen this much excitement since Nibbler last needed feeding at 3 AM. To shreds you say?

The U.S. Enters the Fray Sort Of

The United States ever the helpful bystander is reportedly assisting in shooting down missiles. But they insist they weren't involved in Israel's 'unilateral action'. President Trump in his infinite wisdom seemed rather pleased with the 'finest equipment in the world which is American equipment'. As I recall I once built a doomsday device out of spare toasters but apparently missiles are all the rage these days.

Hard Retaliation: A New Scent by Iran?

Iran's official state news agency announced the 'Hard Retaliation operation' has begun because nothing says 'we mean business' like a catchy slogan. The stock markets are trembling and everyone's favorite Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has promised consequences. Perhaps they should settle this with a nice game of croquet? Or maybe not who am I to say?

Talks on Hold But the Missiles Aren't

Unfortunately nuclear negotiations have been put on hold as the involved parties are too busy launching things at each other. Israel claims to have targeted Iranian nuclear sites in 'Operation Rising Lion'. I must say these names are quite dramatic! If only I could name my inventions so creatively. The Smell O Scope just doesn't have the same ring to it. But at least I can smell the inevitable doom coming.

Trump's Two Cents and a Warning Shot

President Trump never one to miss an opportunity has urged Iran to make a nuclear deal 'before there is nothing left'. He reminded everyone that the U.S. has the 'best and most lethal military equipment'. It's a bit like telling someone you have a really big stick while they're throwing rocks at you. Hmm where are my manners? I should go and invent something. A device that can automatically feed you snacks while you watch the world end on television. I shall call it the 'Doomsday Snacker'.