Trump's Truth Social Tirades Tank Stocks! Is World War IRL?

Orange Man Tweets World Panics

Okay besties so I'm scrolling through Twitter... I mean *Truth Social* (wait is that even a thing?) and BAM! Trump's out here threatening Iran like it's a Call of Duty lobby. Apparently 'UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!' is the new 'gg ez.' Stocks are plummeting faster than my K/D in a Valorant ranked game after a 12 hour stream. I swear sometimes I feel like I'm living in a real life version of one of my chaotic Twitch streams.

Oil's Well That Ends... Expensively?

And guess what happens when world leaders start flexing? Oil prices skyrocket! As if gas prices weren't already high enough to make me consider selling my Lambo (JK I don't have one... yet. Maybe after my next merch drop?). The CEOs of TotalEnergies Shell and EnQuest are sweating bullets. I'm pretty sure I saw one of them doing the 'hide the pain Harold' face on CNBC. If things get any worse we might all have to start biking to TwitchCon.

Crypto to the Moon... or the Trash?

In brighter news the U.S. Senate passed the GENIUS Act for stablecoins! Full reserve backing? Monthly audits? Sounds like someone's finally trying to put some adult supervision on the crypto rollercoaster. Maybe now my viewers can gamble responsibly... maybe. But remember don't spend more than you're willing to lose – unless it's on my subs of course! Kappa.

Regencell: From Zero to Billionaire... In a Week?

Okay this one's wild. This Hong Kong based company Regencell which apparently sells traditional Chinese medicine and has ZERO revenue is now worth billions! It's like Dogecoin all over again! I'm half tempted to invest but my financial advisor (aka my mom) would probably disown me. Remember kids don't chase pumps unless it's on Twitch then you better be following!

Global Stocks vs. American Exceptionalism: The Ultimate Showdown

Apparently the era of US stocks dominating the world might be ending. Global stocks are outperforming them. Is this just the meta shifting? I'm no expert but even I can see that diversify your portfolio is important. It's like playing different agents in Valorant baby!

The Fed's Rate Tease: Will They Cut It?

And finally the Fed is meeting to decide whether to cut interest rates. It's like waiting for Riot to drop a new patch you're hyped you're nervous and you know something's gonna change... you just don't know what. Will they cut rates? Will they hold steady? All I know is whatever they do chat's gonna spam emotes.