SoftBank Sells T-Mobile Shares: Did They Need the Money for More Pepe Memes?

OMG They Sold WHAT?!

Okay chat so I saw this headline and I was like "Wait SoftBank sold a bunch of T Mobile shares?" Like did they run out of ramen money or something? Turns out they offloaded 21.5 million shares at $224 a pop. That's like a LOT of money even for someone who accidentally spends half their income on skincare. I feel poor all of a sudden...

The Discount Drama: Was it Worth it?

They sold the shares at a 3% discount! A DISCOUNT! I’m over here haggling for 5% off at Sephora and SoftBank is just tossing away millions! Apparently T Mobile's stock closed at $230.99 on Monday and they sold at $224. Like did they not learn anything from my negotiation streams? You ALWAYS aim higher people!

SoftBank: Still a Player?

Don't worry guys SoftBank is still the second largest shareholder after this whole thing Deutsche Telekom is still top dog. So they didn't completely yeet themselves out of the game. They still have a seat at the table. A very expensive table I assume. Maybe they'll use some of that $4.8 billion to buy a bigger table? I wonder if they take crypto...

Sprint's Ghost Still Haunts Us

Remember that whole Sprint T Mobile merger? Yeah that's still relevant. SoftBank was supposed to get T Mobile shares worth like $7.59 billion as part of the deal and they finally got them. So basically they're selling free money. I need to get in on these kinds of deals. Imagine just *getting* billions of dollars. I’d probably buy a lifetime supply of boba.

Bloomberg Called it First!

Shoutout to Bloomberg for breaking the news! They’re out here doing the real work while I’m over here struggling to open a jar of pickles on stream. But hey at least I keep you entertained! Now someone explain to me what a 'term sheet' is. Is that like a dating app for businesses?

What Does it All Mean?!

Okay so in conclusion: SoftBank sold a bunch of shares they still have a lot of shares and I'm still confused about the stock market. But hey at least we learned something today! Now back to playing Valorant. Maybe I’ll buy some T Mobile stock with my Twitch earnings. Or maybe I’ll just buy more emotes. Decisions decisions… “is this real life?”