Is the Labor Market Simping? Layoffs and Weak White-Collar Demand Got Me Like...

DOGE Eats the Labor Market?

Okay okay chat so like imagine you're grinding in Valorant right? You're popping off but then suddenly your teammate throws a smoke in your face. That's kinda what's happening with the labor market right now but instead of a smoke it's DOGE – Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency. Apparently they've been doing some 'spring cleaning,' if you catch my drift and a whole bunch of federal workers are now looking for gigs. And guess what? Job openings are like 'Nah we good.' Big oof.

White Collar Blues

So get this it's not just any job market it's the white collar one that's taking the L. According to some brainiac economist Cory Stahle there's less demand for those fancy pants jobs like data analytics and software dev. I'm over here thinking 'Did someone forget to subscribe to my OnlyFans for job advice?' I mean come on guys I'd totally tell you how to hustle!

Application Overload!

Apparently applications from ex federal employees have skyrocketed. I'm talking 150% increase people! That's like going from zero gifted subs to full Tier 3 in a blink! And even though things chilled a bit in May it seems like DOGE is still out there doing their thing. My chat's got more chill than this situation!

Payrolls Taking an L?

So here's the tea: Payroll growth is slowing down. Like slower than my reaction time when someone jumpscares me on stream (and you know how bad that is LOL). Economists are expecting fewer jobs being added each month which is like the opposite of poggers. Is this the work of an enemy stand?

Trump Tech and Interest Rates – Oh My!

But wait there's more! It's not just DOGE messing things up. Apparently the Fed's got their hands in this too keeping interest rates high. And you know who's not a fan? Trump. He's out here yelling about easing monetary policy and getting ratioed every time lol. Higher rates mean tech companies are like 'Nah we're good on hiring thanks.' Sounds like someone needs to gift them a sub and tell them to chill.

Is This The Start of My Villain Arc?

So what's the takeaway here? The labor market's kinda sus right now. DOGE's throwing smokes interest rates are high and white collar jobs are scarce. Maybe I should just stick to streaming... or start my own DOGE competitor but for good. I'm thinking... CAT (Community Advancement Team)? What do you guys think? Time to clap back? Let me know in the chat!