Shell Says 'No Offer for BP,' A Disturbance in the Force, It Is Not!

A Shell Shocking Revelation!

Hmm much speculation there has been. Shell and BP combined? No intention Shell has. 'No offer,' they say. Believe them do you? A surprise perhaps it is. Or a clever ruse? Only the Force it knows. Focus on capital discipline Shell must. A Jedi's focus it needs. Or the dark side it will lead.

Wall Street Whispers Hear We Do!

An $80 billion deal they whispered. 'Early stage talks,' the Wall Street Journal proclaimed. Swiftly denied Shell did. Much chatter little substance perhaps? Like sand through fingers rumors slip. Control you must learn to exert. Or be controlled you will be.

BP's Underperformance: A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy?

Underperformance BP suffers. A prime takeover candidate they become. Restore investor confidence they try. A strategic reset they launched. A new hope perhaps it is. 'Off to a great start,' their CEO claims. Optimism it can be a powerful ally... or a dangerous delusion. Hmmm.

Analyst Doubts: The Force Is Weak With This Deal!

Merits the analysts question. 'Not necessarily better off,' they say. Reduce costs divest assets Shell must. A delicate balance it is. Like balancing a lightsaber on your nose risky it is. 'Best thing for shareholders,' selling BP might be. Hmm debatable that is.

Antitrust Agony: Job Losses Loom!

Antitrust concerns arise they do. Job losses a shadow they cast. Politically sensitive it becomes. Integrate cultures a challenge it is. Easy to talk hard to do. Like building a Death Star much effort little reward perhaps. "Do or do not. There is no try."

Investor Relief: A Sigh Heard 'Round the Galaxy!

Shell investors relieved they are. Share price it rises. A disturbance in the Force quelled it has been. Avoid the dark side of speculation Shell did. "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." So relax they must.