OMG! Israel and Iran: Ceasefire? More Like Cease-FUSS! (Like, Literally)

Like What Even Happened?

Okay so basically I heard there's this ceasefire thing happening between Israel and Iran. TBH I was kinda busy launching my new lip kit (Kylie Lip Kit is always important!) but apparently things got a little spicy with missiles and stuff. Like can't everyone just chill for a sec? My assistant told me missile diplomacy seems to help de escalate tensions. Honestly I think a bomb skincare routine could probably work too. Just sayin'.

Trump's Not Happy (And Neither Am I When My WiFi's Slow)

So like President Trump is apparently not happy with all the back and forth. I feel that on a spiritual level because I'm *so* not happy when my WiFi is slow. It's like can we just have some peace and fast internet please? He was all "I'm not happy with them. I'm not happy with Iran either but I'm really unhappy if Israel is going out this morning." I guess his disappointment helped because there's a truce now!

Money Moves (Because That's What We Do)

Okay so here's the part that *really* matters: oil prices fell and U.S. stocks jumped! That's like good for everyone right? More money for lip kits and private jets! Speaking of which I saw a photo of people playing frisbee at the beach in Israel. Goals. Totally Instagrammable. Anyway I heard from CNBC that flights at Israel's Ben Gurion Airport are resuming and Iran's airspace is partially open. That's good! Less travel stress = More time for selfies.

American Strikes on Iran's Nuclear Sites

Oh but before I get too happy I read from NBC News that an initial assessment from the U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency found the American strikes on Iran's nuclear sites on Saturday left "core pieces … still intact." Like what does that even mean? I just hope everything's okay. Seriously world peace is like a *lewk* we should all be striving for.

Markets Are Vibing (For Now)

So everyone's betting on this truce and the markets are feeling it. The S&P 500 Dow Jones Nasdaq are all doing their thing. Travel stocks are up oil and gas stocks are down...it's all very complicated. But basically everyone's making money right? And that's what matters! I love a good investment.

GPS Jamming? Sounds Like a Party Foul

Okay this part is kinda scary. Apparently there's GPS jamming happening in the Strait of Hormuz and ships are having a hard time navigating. Like that sounds like a major party foul! Imagine getting lost at sea because your GPS is glitching. No thanks! Hopefully they fix that ASAP so everyone can stay safe.